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! rants:
disclaimer:
the opinions expressed by myself may not be my own opinions
my opinions are subject to change at whim
if you find me too rude/ too sexist / too whatever : i don't care (i'm not really as rude/sexist/whatever as i sound)
the exception to the rule above: if you are a fine bit 'o trim and you find me too sexy, well i am baby but try your luck anyway ;P
if you have anything to say about my rants go here -> ZenStarComments
archived rants found here -> ZenStarRantsArchives
rant 6: time
why is time so screwed up? when you're overworked and deadlines are looming it passes way too quickly, yet when there's nothing going on or you're talking to a real lame-ass in a club waiting for someone interesting to arrive time just slows right down and you can feel years passing by while you consunme your drink and feign intrest.
now i know that watches all count off a second the same no matter where you are or what's going on, but they're counting mechanical seconds. the big secret of time is that there's really more than one type. the main two involved here are mechanical time (the time watches/machines count) and biological time (the time that affects people). now biological time is the real fucker in this situation. ever wonder how some people age gracefully yer others look old before their time? the young ones have spent most of their lives in slow time, being bored or waiting for things, whereas the oldies have been permanently stressed and under pressure/fast time. if we could convert biological time into mechanical time (which is easier for us to estimate and compare due to it's mechanical nature) we would discover that people of exactly the same age have been alive for different amounts of time, and this shows why some people age well and how bio-time relates to mech-time.
now that you understand the true nature of time (barring the subtlties of other times such as boiling time (dependant on whether it's being recorded or not) and horror time) you can understand why i get so annoyed with it. we can create mech-time and (if everyone agreed) stretch seconds to whatever length we want, yet biological time is like a small yapping terrier with a bad attitude. no matter how we try to control it it'll just piss on the rug, try hump your leg, bite your best friend, and generally annoy you and do exactly what you don't want it to.
now all i want is some sort of leash so that i can at least get a little control over the bastard. a little slow time when i'm cramming for exams, a little fast time when i'm waiting for a party to start, etc...
it's not too much to ask is it? just a litlle control of bio-time.
rant 7: dreams vs reality
ok. we all know reality sucks the big one. you have to get a job and go to the bathroom and stuff. but are dreams any better? dreams cover a large variety of psuedo-realities, some of which are just as crap as waking reality, some of which are better than sex (usually because they include lots of sex). obviously the crap dreams are not better than reality otherwise they wouldn't be crap but the good dreams are really just like intangible cockteasers.
what i mean by that is this: you go to sleep, you have a really great dream with lots of love/hope/sex/chocolate/money/grunties/whatever-you-want (take your pick) and just when you really settle into the dream bam! you wake up, it's morning and you're left thinking "where's my expensive, toffee swirl, blow-up wife?" and then it truly hits you: reality is back! it's just building you up high so that you fall back to reality with a jarring splat!
now i know i like dreaming and many of my dreams are infinitly better than reality, but do i really have to wake up? or at least while i'm awake why can't i continue dreaming? people sleepwalk and talk in their sleep but why can't we be awake while we sleep and thereby solving the entire problem, allowing us to force ourselve through reality while lying back down in the spaceship with our rich, edible, kinky spacebabes(or spaceboys for the babes out there).
dammit! reality should have more rich, edible, kinky spacebabes(or boys) around. reality has really lost it's competive edge.
rant 8: operation spite
first off if you don't know what operation spite is: tough! first rule about operation spite is do not talk about operation spite!
right, now that that's out the way... operation spite just isn't going to work at the moment! i have been researching (ie: talking to) the target and i have come to the conclusion that unless a game of SwingSock is played there won't be enough time to lure the target into the cunning trap and if SwingSock is used then the further goals of operation spite (the most important goals in many ways) will be impossible to achive unless certain psychotropic drugs are applied to the target after the SwingSock.
Let's just recap: for success in the short time period given we need to cause massive cranial truama to the target and then pump them full of psychotropic drugs to get a certain response from them. this leads to two major problems: 1) i have no idea what doses will be required and am likely to kill the target on first administrations. 2) i can't afford said drugs.
solution to problems: someone needs to donate massive amounts of drugs, and a cute nurse (i don't work with any other kind) to me for the furthering of operation spite. problem with solution: cute nurse likely to steal my attention away from operation spite.
solution to secondary problems: more cute nurses... i see no problems, just give me the nurses dammit!
- just a thought here - perhaps part of the objective of operation spite may be attained by simply suggesting that operation spite has succeeded? remember rule 45 of the Tao. and yes, i know, we don't talk about operation spite...but you started it! - MoonFlake
- The main point is stuff for ZenStar, not for people to think stuff about ZenStar/the person/Operation Spite. Nurses sound like a great alternative tho -- SynKronos
rant 9: the lack of ice-cream
so i'm wandering around outside smoking and wondering about various things (things i've done, other people, girlfriends and the lack thereof, the pope of hypocricy, games, tv, etc) like i am wont to do on occasion (it might scare you that in the deep of night i occasionally get all philisophical especially when subjected to lack of sleep). so there i am having a cigarette being all zen when i decide i want some ice-cream. i go to the fridge and open the freezer bit at the top and peer into the icy depths only to discover a small ice-cream shaped container. my hopes (which are fragile at the best of times) begin to float and dance and fetch a spoon until i notice the label: frikkin mixed berries!
what the hell? yet another small bag of shattered dreams to shovel under the opressive carpet of nihilistic pessimism. in fact the closest thing to ice-cream in the entire fridge (besides milk) was a small bag of smarties. i have no idea why there is a small bag of smarties in there other than to taunt me (of course). now the zen-like dilemma: do i get off my ass and drive down to the local 24 hour shop for ice-cream thereby destroying the slackerness inherent in grabbing the goods and vegging out with a cold spoon in my mouth or do i stick to the slackerness and go without sweet frozen goodness?
considering i'm out of smokes too i guess the answer is decided: drive to the place of sweet decadance for various goodies then veg out extra by watching the score, then enigma, then vegging some more before finally going to sleep at hours too early to be named. now all i need is some sweet young thing (a nurse even. see previous rant) to veg with and get nookie from. sigh! the hardships of a slacker.
rant 10: apendicitis
i've never had it (touch wood... mmmm....'scuse me)
cough right... anyway, it's meant to be real painful and stuff but that's not what i'm ranting about now. what bugs me is that the artist for sam and fuzzy was meant to get a comic up today (friday 5 sept) and instead he gets appendicitis and goes to hospital. fucking disease is crippling me here. without my semi-regular intake of humour i'll become even more jaded and paranoid than i already am.
we need to fight this evil degeneration of society. i vote we run around with a knife and attack people with appendices. they never really explain anything anyway. no-one gets to the end of a book and says "hey, look there's some uninteresting gumpf i'd love to read!"
i mean really people, do we need appendices? no! i think a riot is in order!
rant 11: hatemongers, politics, and blind sheep who cannot see the truth
people are basically sheep. stupid, thoughtless and following whoever leads them. this leads to some really moronic situations. truly intelligent people realise the futility of the social structures that cage them in their solitary lives. the real leaders aren't smart... they're just smarter than average. they have just enough intelligence to crave power and driven by their sadistic ids they get it. and what do idiots with a little authority do? they abbuse it and wield it like some giant phallus trying to fuck everyone below them. the only thing that stops them from doing whatever they want once in power is the threat of being lynched by the masses if they realise that the power doesn't lay in the leader but rather in the people that follow him.
of course the people that follow (ie: almost everyone) are morons which is why leaders get away with all the shit they do. leaders always become hatemongers as their power overinflates their egos and their enemies become the targets of their followers. and the people that rebel are no better. they too are hatemongers trying to get power through some way or another usually involving mass violence, which is the power of the stupid and weak.
so leaders end up in their own little paranoid worlds conflicting with other leaders, all trying to beckome the alpha male of the world they're in. this leads to all sorts of shit and even wars. and what pisses me off most about war is the fact that the sheep sit there and argue that side A is wrong because x, y, and z... or side B is wrong because u, v, and w (where x, y, z, u, v, and w are moron arguement variables). but what they don't see is that both sides are wrong because they are led by hatemongers who lord it over a country with a population 100 times greater than it should be and an average iq 100 points lower than is good for it. restated: leaders aren't smart, they're just smarter than average.
the real people who should lead shirk the responsibility of leading others and instead lead themselves, and thereby end up socially isolating themselves from all the sheep who crave to force their slavish ways on the free. ironically the free are more caged than the walking mutton that ruins the beauties of being smart.
yes i understand the more political reasons for leaders, and the social ramifications of leaders. i just don't care. the people that really need leaders are also the people that really need to be culled for the good of the rest. if we must have leaders then we should have female leaders... and not some fucking barbie-girl, cheerleader, prom queen, vacant bitch. we need a mother who has successfully raised kids who love her to lead us. at least then we'd all get cookies.
rant 12: anime haters
the claim "i hate anime" is fucking stupid! you may as well claim "i hate watching movies that get played in the cinema or anything made in hollywood, or any series on tv."
people say that they're not interested in the weird jap storylines like humanity versus machine in anime like ghost in the shell. well fuck, they must have hated terminator, matrix, and blade runner.
what about those stupid love stories where it's all drama and fighting ninjas 'n shit? damn, you hate crouching tiger hidden dragon, true romance, and king arthur too?
ok, but there's a lot of anime which is just fighting with almost no storyline! hell yeah, just like kill bill, any arnie movie, fuck... most action movies.
but anime is all big tittied girls made to hook the perverts and losers who can't get girlfriends. Shit. firstly not all anime is big tittied girls in lycra... most lead characters are pretty, but so are all the fucking lead actors in hollywood. who wants to watch a movie made of true mutts? secondly, there are a bunch of animes that are just big tittied women made for sweaty teenagers, but look at fucking baywatch and all the fucking porn and crap like that. you think that's not made for the same reason?
but it's just cartoons made for kids. to that i respond with: *go suck large amounts of donkey dick you stupid assmonkey. your opinion means nothing until you learn to think for yourself and begin to form abstract thought.* yes it is animated. so what? it's another medium for film. it makes special effects cheaper and is far easier to create completely new and interesting worlds, spending more money on good storyline and quality instead of adding just one more explosion. animation makes a good medium for childrens' shows for the same reasons... imagination and escapism are easier. and that is what films are really mostly about.
i can understand people who haven't seen enough and haven't liked what they've seen... they're just living in the dark like a troglodyte.
but there really is no other excuse. anime covers such differing styles and stories from childrens tales through to philisophical thought provokers through to bloated tentacle porn. anime comes in film format, sitcom format, series format, miniseries format, any format that normal film media comes in. not to mention all the different styles, from cartoony cutesy through to ultra realistic and computer generated. how can anyone say they hate the entire diversity that is anime while still enjoying normal film? by lying like little whores, thats how. anime covers all the same things as normal film and more.
as for people who love comics but hat anime... ~WTF? ever fucking heard of manga? eaver realise that a lot of anime is based on manga?
the only thing i can think of is that people who hate anime are scared of moving pictures.
now i understand that people can have their own opinions. but if you hate all anime your opinion is wrong and you can just get fucked.
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