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TheTome /
WednesdaysChildisFullofWoeYou are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. I know how to WIKI! This page is reserved for me stoned rants so if you're interested in the ravings of a not-so-sober lil girl, here it is... Stoned Again 24 September 2003Okay, so you're sitting in someone else's kitchen; staring into a plastic cup, half-filled (or emptied, as it may) with Kolatonic&lemonade; when you realise 3 very important things: 1.The bubbles only start forming after you add the Kolatonic As to #1, we shall turn to thoughts of those wise men (Confuscious, The Beatles, Nelson Mandela?) who said that we are all part of each other.That there is a person for everyone, someone that makes us whole.What exactly were they potting (yeah, they probably smoked some good shit back then) about?Well love, soulmates, kindred spirits-who the fuck knows.Love, alright, as of recently I must admit seems to be a reality (though with the true heart of a cynic I must feign ignorance to me own acknowledgement).I honestly believe that I am in love (or at least very stupid) because for some or other reason I feel emotionally...different.Yes, I think he's beautiful (I don't care what the rest o you say).A genuine specimen of boy meant to be secretly admired by his friends of the female (or not) persuasion.This I know, as I now qualify for that position (Application denied!) again.Okay, so you're watching the bubbles and you know full well you can't have him, but as usual a slice of misplaced (and very sneaky) hope seats itself in your mind and plants such ideas that are entirely inapppropriate...What do you do?No, you do not (I repeat DO NOT) push him up against a wall and fuck his brains out!You finish your drink; switch off the lights; sigh and then leave. Change...it happens continuously in a simultaneous kinda way and it's the one certainty in living.I say living (as opposed to life) because in order for one to experience change, some degree of LIVING must be taking place.In short, there will be pain; there will definately be confusion and then you will die.Graet, so pain lies awaiting those brave enough to LIVE and completely ignores everything else.And love=pain.Aha, very cunning isn't it.Both words have 4 letters in them and they spell FUCK quite clearly. Bitter, (probably)stoned (fucking definately) and miserable (with great regularity).Rolling in the ganj just doesn't make you happier.It makes you giggle, sing and chase guinea fowl around Kirstenbosch, but it can't change (see, it's here again) the fact that you have this intense feeling o self-loathing swimming around in your gut.(BTW, even stoned, "The Guru" isn't funny.)Yeah, I know I've increased me weed intake since getting dumped (don't even contemplate judgement) but it is my opinion that being the "weaker" sex allows me to be pathetic over a boy-so there! It's around 1 in the morning (maybe 2) and I've just cleaned my room.Goddamn I must be sexually frustrated.Apparently nymphomania runs in my family (that I can believe considering my million&one siblings).I haven't been laid in over a week, which isn't soooo bad unless you consider that for about 6 months I was getting action at least 12 times a week.(I'm so the man)A lil too much information I hear you say...as I've said before "I AM STONED" so sue me for being honest. For interest's sake, I had my first viewing of "Requiem for a Dream" last night and I liked it alot.It was so real...was a speed junkie,am clinically depressed,don't ask. Beltaine 25 September 2003I have Summer in me veins!Quite terrible actually and an excessively bad time to be single.I've been having all these weird hippie ideas about having sex in arbitrary places (like in a treehouse or a fire truck) and it's rather disturbing... I think I'm going to go out and get stoned again though...bye bye :p Alcohol is the Devil 28 September 2003To go out or not to go out has always been the question and on this particular Saturday evening, the answer was why the hell not. Unfortunately all my friends had bowed out on me and I was all set to spend the night solo when I chanced upon a rather drunk/stoned Nicholai Honeth. So I grabbed him by the hand and off we ran (and I do mean ran) to Obs. I had premeditated getting a lil tipsy (which is very easy and extremely cheap if you're me) as 2 shooters usually has me dancing on tables and ready to pass out. But things went a lil awry and I downed 4 shooters instead. I had an excellent time though, Mordor was practically dead, the music wasn't bad at all and the company was great!(Guys, I love you) Round half 12, Nic tells me we have to go home cause he doesn't know if he can stand anymore. Home we went, doing Johnny Depp impersonations the whole way. I also managed to lose a shirt somewhere between home and Obs(which is rather odd). As a side note, the "ether walk" is loads fun to do. HANGOVER 29 September 2003Duh, this was bound to happen. If not to me then to some other varsity student in some other country in some other parallel universe. My hangover (which I think I'll name Bronhilde) lasted all day till I went to bed that night. I spent most o me day being whiny and pathetic (looking to be cuddled) on everyone else's floor. then I passed out on the balcony. Loneliness 30 September 2003I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me.... My dad called me, told me to stop being depressed...How do you stop being depressed?Does this mean I should drink/smoke more?Is it possible to trade my brain in for one that isn't in a state of depresssion?Why does everything taste like chicken? I am so Fucked! 1 October 2003Now that we've all been made aware of me limit with regards to alcohol, when I say that I was _fucked, I mean with all seriousness that I consumed 8 shooters (5 within the space of 3 minutes). You see, it'd been a loooong day, 2 tests with a prac inbetween and I had many things that required "a drink to". Stuff like the fact that Sean passed his drivers(you go Susan!), that I'd probably fucked up my Development test, Maths went great(I think...) and there's always a toast (or 4) to hating men. Lady Eliza (me friend from Zim) and I had planned this particular evening the week before. We were up for a party (even though Emma and Jackie backed out) and it seemed that Gandalf's was(is)the only place to go. After waiting at the bar for about 45 minutes (I kid you not) we finally got served our first 5 shooters o the evening. I had to wash the taste o the Sambuca out with Apple Sourz. Then later it was 2 Dirty Toilets (yummy!) and the guy running around with the "free shooters for girls" bottle. I dance to 3 straight hours of hip-hop. (God damn I hate the fact that I took it as a kid) Not just danced mind you, whore danced (Christina style) with 2 blonde girls and the rest o the guys(who'd pitched up later after 2 hours o drinking games). Kieron expressed his dismay quite early on at his apparent lack of a camera (because this will NEVER happen again) and Kirstin and Alisdair had their usual anniversary fall-out. Parking off on the side o the road, Eliza and I were approached by a rather "young" looking AcSci? (1st year) who under the assumptions that we were 16(not by a long shot), drunk(duh) and looking to score(oh I think not) proceded to flirt with the 2 of us. I laughed at him. (Later much to my amusement, whilst trying to mosh he managed to get himself tangled in my boot-laces and when he sprang, I brought him down-hard on his face-twice.) That wasn't all, a dodgy plumber pretending to be in Liz's Bio class; a 12 year old? at the bar; 2 gross weirdos on the dancefloor and a group of high school boys out on the town. What the fuck is the world coming to? Do these kids' parents know what they're doing? I hate school holidays... Got home round 4, decided to walk home in the rain(if you can call it that) with me best friend (me lil Scotsman)and just generally pass the time away. Nervous Breakdown 3 October 2003Friday night = Mordor. Wish I hadn't gone... I was livid! The only reason I go out is to dance. In order to do this I want nothing more than some decent music and a lil bit o space. After being hit on by 3 million and 2 different types o assehole, I got a touch pissed off. It's the kind of situation where people think that just because I'm dressed in less than normal they have permission to place their dirty, fucking Salmonella-infested appendiges on various parts of MY body. Also I don't appreciate it when dodgy mother-fuckers think that it is their god-given right to dance ludely in front of me. After about the 6th time it happened, I crushed a glass under my boot in a rage and stormed home. Usually an evening stroll serves to calm me down, not this one. After being mistaken for a prostitute 4 times on the way home(and it's a nice 10-15 minute walk) I'd had enough! Went to the only person I could wake up at 4 in the morning and collapsed into a heaving pile of tears(and I do not cry very often or in front of others) for about an hour. Then I left and went to spend an hour in the shower to wash away the vile grimy feeling the evening had left with me. Of late I feel like I have no control over my emotions. I am living in the doing, not the thinking. My violent streak is returning...I worry that when I finally snap, it'll be to the detriment of thr wrong person... As an extra, I did meet a witch that night and he also had a bad experience. Apparently his friend (and boy were they pissed) insulted some guy outside Gandalf's. They were followed all the way to Hout Bay and beaten up outside his house. In hospital kind of beaten up. For Fuck's Sake 4 October 2003My mom's in Cape Town for the weekend. Unfortunately she's decided to bring her bitch older sister along on our "quality time" outings. So there's not much else to say on that subject... Didn't want to pub-crawl with me mom so went to Gandalf's instead. Bad idea. Claire, Melanie, another girl(very cool, can't remember her name) and I were harrassed. This kind of thing borders on assault. Lucas was very near turning one particular dick-wad into a wad of bloody t.p.(and it would have been gooood). - Priced some spiked brass knuckles, only R40 - InfernalRabbi I was actually backed up against a wall by someone. Usually when someone steps back you don't continue to move towards her and attempt to touch her. I do not have a large flashing pink neon sign above my head saying: "I'm easy and I want you to touch me!" so I feel very wronged. The music though good, was destroyed by the complete lack of atmosphere found now in Gandalf's (and available for 5.95 in Clairemont). Also, what's up with this "presumptive moshing"? There is no designated mosh area hence it implies that moshing isn't allowed. And if you cannot mosh - just don't do it! I have lost all faith in the future of humanity...a girl at Rhodes who I do not know but hope to become aquainted with, was spiked at her "friends'" party. For 14 hours she draws a complete black-out (thank god). The perp fucked her in front of all his friends and they have taken pictures and may even post them on the internet. This is akin to gang rape. That something like this can happen at a university makes me feel sick. Why do people do things like that to each other? The perp even had the gall to ask her why she'd been so upset lately(feigning innnocence)and saying that it wasn't as if she hadn't wanted it. I am more than angry...I am enraged and feel raw. I sincerely hope she decides to report this incident in the hope that it won't happen to another girl... If it had happened to me, I'd have pushed to have every last one of those asswipes castrated! A Lil Bit of Peace 5 October 2003Today I made my mom walk through Obz with me. My mom doesn't walk, she's very larney, very Sandton (it's a Jo thing). We had an amazing lunch at Obz Cafe and then went to the Holistic Fair. It was a relaxing afternoon enjoyed by all. She bought me a very pretty fairy dress that makes me want to spin and twirl :p I found out the coolest thing. Apparently I was conceived under the stars on an open field (on a farm owned way back by my mom's cousin's husband at the time). How cool is that! I had no clue my parentals were even vaguely romantic-like(especially since me dad's Chinese). That evening, Lady Eliza, Lesbian Pie (Bon and Kieta) and I went to Cafe Carte Blanche. I am enchanted, the place is magical. Check it out if you're into beautiful things, antiques and old jazz music. They played Francoise Hardy's greatest hits (late 50's early 60's). A cd a haven't heard sine I was 8/9/10ish. It brought back the most wonderful memories, things I'd forgotten a long time ago. Those were happy days, when it was just the 4 of us and we were okay. (me big sister, me lil sister, me bro and I). Don't take those little things for granted...there's not enough beauty in the world to redeem all the shit we've created... I've decided to play the field again...So I'm going out on my very first proper date on Thursday. This time I get to play the guy without issues because I did the asking out. Hopefully it'll help me get over Scott. Possibilities... 9 October 2003My date wasn't as great as I'd thought it'd be. Largely because the guy in question had to bring his 2 best friends along. We had planned to deal with the company of one by that old cunning double-date trick, unfortunately...who knew about the other. It started out good, gave him the Arum which he found very appropriate (also happens to be his favourite flower so score 2 points for me) and as a couple, we mesh - well. Off to Carte Blanche where the 3 of us (Lady Eliza, The Warlock and yours truly) awaited the arrival of Anthony the Welsh. Excuse me for bitching but when I noticed that another had come along all I could do was sigh. What the hell kind of first date was this to be? Later, the guys in their boredom are niggling us to go to Cool Runnings, if I'd wanted to date all 3 of them simultaneously I might have cared, but as it was, I couldn't understand why we couldn't just meet up with them later. They finally leave and we get some conversation time. Excellent. Was a huge relief to me that he understands me alot better than most people, probably because we've been through the same sort o shit. The weirdest thing was that he was finishing my sentences and completing my thoughts before I was able to. Wow he's intense. Turn out he's a published Cambridge poet and is in the process of writing his second novel.Tre cool. Problem though, his friends kept calling him every 5 minutes, it was as if he was married. Shame but they are still teenagers. (I love being able to say that without being a total hypocrite.) We gave in and off we trundled to Cool Runnings. Couldn't stand to be inside so stole him away and went to sit with the moon. Did you see the moon? She was beautiful. A faery moon, swathed in clouds as if She was hiding some secret knowledge...We were enraptured, enchanted, amazed, blown away... Very strange thing happened next, an American girl(just after we'd been ranting about Americans)came up to us and asked us if we were having a moment. She was trashed and had been crying and then she asked us, "If there was one thing you'd want me to know about the 2 of you, what would it be?" We looked at each other, up at the moon and I replied, "Well, we both really like the moon." Then she left. The atmosphere for that small amount of time we were outside together was magical. I can honestly say that I needed it. I needed to be with someone who understands what I'm going through. He's almost perfect. He smokes and drinks too much though and has a Ferrari and a Mustang and is a model. (I hate Ferraris, or however you spell it.) His aim is to change my mind about the car thing but I'm really not interested in what he has-it's more who he is. But he does have nice hands... I so behaved myself. All he got was a lil peck on the jugular when he wasn't paying attention and a good night. Then I went to sit on the grass and look at the moon. He sort of reminds me of a grimmer Zoolander (one with a brain), models...sigh. Sniffle sniffle 10 October 2003I am sick. Okay, I have been sick for the past week but it's just getting worse. I think I'm losing my voice which means that singing in the shower is a no-no. Tonight I'm looking forward to another quite evening at Carte Blanche. It'll be cool cause tomorrow's quite "hectic". First Michelle's birthday movie marathon (I'm so psyched, I loooooove Disney and Monty Python!) then a heavy night of dancing at Hectic! Sniff, I hate being sick. Also...he might be there tomorrow night. Could the second date be coming up? Happy B-Day Michelle 11 October 2003Pitched at Ian's round 3 and was rather disappointed at the turnout. We proceeded to watch " Timon & Pumba" stuff then "The Life of Brian" . Was cool, but I almost fell asleep. Afterwards (and a few more ppl arrived) we watched " Sleeping Beauty", it's me favourite Disney classic. The entire time I was wigging out cause Sean and Andrea hadn't arrived. So I called them only to discover (to my abject horror) that they'd been in a car accident that afternoon and were at the hospital doing hospital-related things. I was quite annoyed that they'd failed to inform me of the situation and gave them a large talking to once I saw them. Luckily they escaped with minor wounds; Sean with a bruised knee (and mauled Pixie Dust) and Andrea with a bruised hip and a few fucked up fingers. I was most relieved that they hadn't been seriously damaged because you can't sell damaged goods with a clear conscience. HECTIC was fucking amazing! The music kicked ass and the atmosphere was divine. Danced till 3 then couldn't move a muscle. (Think I threw out me back again, dang me old bones)I had fun! You guys (that weren't there) missed a great party-you would've loved it. BTW I am aware of the fact that me spelling's a lil shotty at times and I would like to apologise to all those individuals out there that are offended by it. Destiny's Price, Destiny's Reward 15 October 2003Wrote Developmental Genetics today, was piss easy (only 20 marks) so am happy bout that. Today is also the final chapter in Brendan's campaign... It was absolutely amazing, from the intense combat segments to the handling of each of the characters. Thank you Mr Quinlivan, you rock! In the final scenes of the game, I had to tell myself not to look around in wonder (for fear of looking like a complete idiot) as I was so involved in what the DM was saying. It was cool... Soon I shall enter Midnight into the CharacterGraveyard so keep an eye out. Yay I get to see my girlfriend 16 October 2003He came all the way out from Hout Bay to see me! My roleplaying game (CurrentAffairs) came first though and I was forced to leave him waiting with Lady Eliza for about an hour. (Roleplaying always comes first!) He'd just had his hair cut and was looking good. Invited Lesbian Pie over and we smoked some joints (or rather Kietan and I smoked some joints)then went to Steers (real food made real good) for a late (bout 11ish) dinner. Spent the entire night talking to him ,(or not talking to him) felt great to connect with someone and not feel soooooooooooooo alone. Finally fell asleep at 7 the next morning. Yep, i have found my soulmate. As an aside: I feel most lucky to have encountered 2 of my soulmates in the same year. Some people die having never met one. Kietan and my Warlock, the 3 of us were meant to be... Happy Birthday Susan 17 October 2003Woke up at half 8, woke Dirk up at half 9 and it was off to varsity. Spent most of the day showing him off (can't help it, I'm an asshole, so what) cause he's a model. Was a lil disturbed though that everyone seemed to like him pretty quickly (like after 10 minutes), maybe jealousy does make ME nasty. Then we went home with Sean to prepare for the evening's festivities. The Fondue Party was great fun and Dirk didn't even need to be drunk to enjoy himself. Thanx guys for being nice. He really thinks you're all cool. We played Balderdash, sang songs and a good vibe permeated the room. Thanx Sean (my lil sister is all grown up...) and enjoy it (life that is...). Dragged him off to Mordor afterwards. We were both exhausted, I danced for about an hour then we just sat and stared. On the plus side the music is improving(barr the fact that it's always the same songs)and it wasn't that packed. He's managed to gain the approval of me big sister (Melanie Moore) and so I think I'll keep him for a while. On the way home some dick wanted to start a fight with him, I was too tired to care(I think we both were)so we carried on walking. Breakfast 18 October 2003Woke up round half 10, fell asleep round 2, pretty decent. I was most chuffed with myself though, I had a male (model) in my bed and I slept. Lesbian Pie joined us for breakfast at Mugg&Spleen and Eliza and her lil friend pitched up later on. Spent the day messing (no children or old ladies were harmed in the process but I did buy bubbles) around Cavendish then went home to watch "The Meaning of Life" again. Dirk and Kieta accosted Kieta's strat (if you don't know, I pity you) and wooed her well. I didn't even know he played...The boy keeps surprising me. His mom came to pick him up that evening, weirdly she wasn't pissed off or anything. Apparently she hasn't seen him so happy in a long time so she's ok with it. Let me give you some advice...NEVER date a model! They only eat salad or less than that on odd occassions. (He doesn't even eat chocolate, how am I supposed to play loving boyfriend if I can't even buy him chocolate?) Going out to dinner would be pointless. Arbitrary bit of information, kissing a smoker I suppose is like kissing an ashtray. Sigh...I wonder if I can get him to quit... Hi Mom... 22 October 2003Today I am meeting his mother...I'm pissing myself in sheer terror! Went to varsity to study maths with Bronwyn and Susan, was so distracted I left late. So was kinda latish to get back to res. The trip to Hout Bay was amazing. It's so pretty. Felt like driving along an enchanted road. Arrived at his place (Cape Velvet)and he wasn't home yet.(Still at the doctor picking up anti-depressants.) It took us a while to convince the domestic that we weren't arbitrary tourists looking for a good time but we managed it in the end. His dogs were very friendly. Picture this massive German Shepard named Caesar sitting on my lap. House is cool, the Ferrari is a Ferrari (Maserati) and they own a Studfarm. His mom is very much like mine. If she likes you she's indifferent to your presence. Went to La Med that evening for his cousin's birthday. Was absolutely beautiful (I can't figure out why I hate the beach so much). Lady Eliza bought me a Spin and then Dirk's mom bought us Bacardis, so I got a lil bit tipsy. Am so embarrassed, I doubt she's ever seen a 20 year old running around like a lil girl giggling and pretending to stalk mist. She actually wasn't aware of the fact that I'm older than Dirk. I wonder if that's an issue? The night went okay though so I guess things are fine for the moment. My First Exam 24 October 2003Maths went okay. I think I passed (yay!). Went to Mordor, wasn't as shitty as usual (the rain kept most o the kids away). Spent most of the evening chatting to Garrick and Greg. Was amusing to find out that people didn't know who Wednesday's Child was. Cool, I'm sneaky... Greg was telling me about Viking history, very cool. I don't know why he's single, he's really cool. (But then again there are many CLAWpeople? that're single and they're usually cool.) I wish I was single...no I don't, I'm confused...again. Got kinda annoyed, was mistaken for a prostitute 3 times on a 500m stretch. Fucking perverts! Why do the majority of my male friends keep offering me sex? Finally showed Scott how to use 15m of ski rope... Akasha Comes 25 October 2003Studying is not going to happen. I woke up at half 10 then had 40 minutes to shower and get dressed, the boy was coming over. In case you were wondering about the really fucked up weather that day, it was Dirk-always playing with magic, fucking Akashi...We sat around for a few hours then off to Obs for the art festival. Ended up at Carte Blanche till round 10. Was quite funny, were walked in on 11 times. The manager (who seemed rather charmed by the whole thing) gave us a room. Enjoying my new game. It's called distract him whilst he's talking on the phone. Was really funny cause his brain switches off and he can't figure out how to speak or if he's listening. His friends pitched up later, Bubble Slut and Blondie. They're also models. I hate models. Brendan (Blondie) spilt all my bubbles out :( , I was sad... Hit the streets to find Lesbian Pie. Bubble Slut and Blondie wanted to leave (they had a party to go to)so they did. I convinced Dirk to stay with me (didn't take much work, I asked he said okay). It was cool, people dancing in the street to the drums and stuff. Wow, I had fun. Later went to VOILA to check out the bondage art. Also cool. Ended up chatting th night away. Decided to walk home (didn't wanna get stuck with Charli and her asshole drunk boyf)and Dirk made it rain again. Gosh he's sweet. Then had a 2 hour kissing session. Then had another 2 hour kissing session. Then I passed out from exhaustion. My Jaw Hurts 26 October 2003Was woken up really early by my fucking flatmates. If I had my CRADLE OF FILTH with me they would stop doing that very quickly. Had to endure another 2 hour kissing session. My god my jaw hurts and my lips are raw and I don't ever want to be kissed again! I lie...just not so much. Feel a lil guilty, deflowered him...I blame him though. He's great with his hands and when I want sex, there's no turning back. Was different...possibly because there's a deep emotional attachment. Wasn't bad considering it was his first time. (I just wish he wouldn't kiss me so much!) Weird though, his mom called just afterwards...I think she sensed it. Am a lil worried about that. He looks quite mauled though...I bite.(Most of you already know this.) We kinda forgot that he's supposed to redo his portfolio...now he's gonna have to give it at least 2 weeks...oops. I managed to ecsape only slighty marked, ouch though, I think he's a vampire too. Have to learn to switch my magic off, especially during sex. Too dangerous and I feel quite odd afterwards. Took him home that evening. I hope he's stocked up on poloneck shirts. Nic is still scared of me. You'd think that he'd ease up since I'm not single anymore. Need to ask Dirk what he considers to be unfaithful, otherwise I'm screwed (or not) cause I need sex-even if he's not around. Anthony (Bubble Slut) was mortified that I was leaving C.T mid Nov and only coming back in Jan. I dunno what he expected. Was I supposed to give up going home just because my girlfriend lives on the other side of the country? Men, so bloody selfish. Feel really chuffed though, Sasha-Lia misses me (my lil sister). Happy Halloween! 31 October 2003I am fully aware of the fact that Halloween is in April in the Southern Hemisphere but I don't care. (The rest of the world is Americanized, why can't I be too?) Woke up really early for some or other reason (can't remember what it was...) and decided that I wanted to be a fairy. Actually I'd decided that I was a fairy and hence refused to wear a shirt all day. (Instead I wore a white mesh thing that pretended to be a shirt.) Spent the first half of the day studying whilst I waited for the "girlfriend" to arrive. He was looking very stylish (as usual, fucking models) and he couldn't kiss me 'cause we were in public (yes!). I have come to the conclusion that he looks better in black than I do...this upsets me...shut up, I'm so not jealous... He pranced around in my wings and meowed at a pic of Legolas...he's so gay. Trust me to get involved with someone who's half gay... Off to Amy's 21st (Happy Birthday Amy!) we went with everyone else. (They know who they are.) The food was good, the company was excellent and as is proper there was something to rip to shreds...Yes, we are bitchy. I actually feel sorry for her, but I tried in vain not to get involved...she brought it on herself. (For those of you who have no idea about whom I speak - you lucky bastards!) During the party I found myself in "Couples Corner" which usually consists of Sean&Andrea. It disturbed me alot that I was comfortable and fit in with "the crowd?" It was the boy&I, the Gay couple (Nick&Steve) and those 2...it sucks...I'm cute...again! After Amy's I found myself at Gandalf's (yes I think I'm becoming a regular again). It was okay. The music wasn't bad and there were plenty CLAWmembers to make it possible to ignore the crowd. Went home before 2, had to get ready for Beltaine...we all know what that means... Weird thing : Gareth is treating me like a person...he hasn't done that in almost a year... Beltaine! 1 November 2003Blessed be. May the Goddess bring light and love to all your lives. We welcome Her to this meet (and ask that She wipe Her feet) and ask Her to bless our circle. Melanie's mom's place round 5 in the morning. The air was crisp, the wind was high and I was exhausted. We opened the circle and each did our own lil worship thing at the altars. Was really cool. A champagne breakfast followed, then we danced around the Maypole. Well we ran, then walked, then crawled and ended up just sitting there passing the ribbons around. We closed the circle with: " Thank You for coming, have a nice day." An appropriate though improper way of doing things. (Fucking Freyans...always doing what takes their fancy...tut tut tut) Freya has accepted me and I feel so much better now. Really keen to start learning how to use me healing powers and possibly glamour. Will be kewl...(witches...sigh...) Note: I know Freya is the hippy Goddess. So fucking what. Just because She governs sex, love and beauty does not make Her a hippy freak. She also governs death - so there :p Got home round 9 that morning and went to sleep. Not even the offer of sex could keep me awake. He left me that evening...sob sob, on Beltaine...life sucks. Weird thing: I spent a night at his place and the next day he went downstairs in just a towel, covered in hiccies and his mom just flashed him this huge grin and asked for a cuppa. Now that's disturbing. I think she's just glad I'm not biologically male. Angels Deserve to Die 2 November 2003I am really enjoying Garrick's Sabbat game. The imagery he uses is great and I had so much fun. The session was excellent and we spent most of it laughing at each other. Great fun and lots of ms3tking. Greg's vegetarian curry was goooooood. Life sucks 4 November 2003I am upset. I might not be able to go to DIARY OF DREAMS. That sucks. Also wrote me exam in an hour 45...worrisome... I am lonely. Being boyfriendless for a week makes me wish I was single. I hate being pathetic and missing him 5 minutes after he leaves...sigh...I hate being a girl. I have much to tell you all but not with me at the moment. I apologise to those of you that have been eagerly waiting for me to update this page but I really hate computers so have been putting it off for yonks... Goddess walks...again 11 August 2004I've found something to be angsty about again. Not even my stint with Hepatitis and a permanently fucked up liver could get me down...until Monday morning... My boyfriend and I are no longer living the lie that is bliss. We are no longer even pretending to live the lie. So here I am single again and playing splashy-splashy solo in the pool of self pity. It hurts...alot. We lasted 10 months exactly, then (cue distortion) it was all over and I was crying again. How fucking embarrassing! Why is it that other people always seem to hold your heart in their hands. It's fucking pathetic...again! This time I may just learn from my mistakes and stay out of the game. Here are some things I want you all to think about. always here for you girl, through thick and thin. -BabyAcid You gotta take some bad with the good... 18 August 2004On Saturday evening I went to a dance evening held by the SCA (the medievil club not the Christians). It was awesome. There's this dance where the girls get tossed repeatedly and a zombie dance too. It was sooooo book! I also looked very pretty in the garb provided. Wee! Later, we (Lady Eliza,d@vid,Yanke and I) went to the "Nostalgia" party at MERCURY. We danced all night and had a great time. Goth chicks are hot but I'm seriously offended by the shortage of beautiful boys out there. We spent the remainder of the early hours at the police station. (No I wasn't arrested and nor was Yanke.) Yanke's car was broken into. So now I'm cellphoneless again! I want my sim card back though cause now how am I to get hold of people??????? P.S. Don't forget to come to my party. If I was a goldfish I would probably not remember all my friend's numbers anyway...so I may as well be a goldfish. Sophie's Ghost 24 August 2004On Fri night I went to see lil Simon's first gig (now that he's all grown up and stuff) at HECTIC (note the capital letters=don't forget my party!)and it was kewl. I had no idea he could sing like that! The band was fucking A! I am now an official groupie cause I threw mine undergarments at Simon which is awesome. You have to hear them, think Placebo and Smashing Pumpkins in one. They've kicked me first rock concert to 2nd best (went to see Placebo back when I was young and child-like) and the only way I can describe Sophie's Ghost as, is orgasmic...(Yeah you know what I'm talkin bout) Studying for advanced development and I'm worried. Things aren't looking so good... In other news, my vampire character now has protean 4! Not only can I turn into a bat but I can become a fox too. Awesome :)
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