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VultarRessurection

You are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. it 'twas a dark and stormy night on the channel. wolves could be heard howling in yonder hills and the night sky was alive with stars. unfortunately vultar wasn't:

* moonflake pokes Vultar...quit camping
<moonflake> you missed your cue
* Zenstar gets a stick and pokes vultar with it
<Zenstar> i think he's dead
<ork_khrist> vultar??
<ork_khrist> buddy?
* ork_khrist preforms cpr
<Zenstar> stop kissing the corpse
<moonflake> lol
<ork_khrist> stick his fingers in a plug socket
<ork_khrist> CLEAR!
<moonflake> still flatlined, doctor!
<moonflake> '''charging'''
<ork_khrist> Clear!
<ork_khrist> hehehe
* moonflake checks the monitors again
<moonflake> still flatlined!
<moonflake> '''charging'''
<ork_khrist> get me tha monkey heart
* moonflake takes the monkey heart off ice
<moonflake> there you go, doctor
<ork_khrist> julie left a butchers kife some here
<ork_khrist> hehehe stand aside frankinstien!
<moonflake> and frankenstein too!
<ork_khrist> hmmm yaw
<ork_khrist> looky here a unused brain!
<ork_khrist> save that for later!
* Zenstar steals an organ while no-one is looking
* moonflake slices down the chest and inserts the ribspreader
<Zenstar> black market goods
<moonflake> '''crank'''
<moonflake> '''crank'''
<moonflake> '''crank'''
<Zenstar> '''snap'''
<ork_khrist> as we thought no organs at all
<moonflake> oi, no unprofessional help!
<Zenstar> i didn't touch him
<moonflake> you're just making a mess!
* Zenstar sidles away
<moonflake> he's all yours, doc
<ork_khrist> stick it back with glue
<moonflake> don't just stick it...
* Zenstar accidently spills some coke in there
<ork_khrist> staples
<Zenstar> oops
* moonflake watches as the coke begins to boil and spit
<ork_khrist> hmmm nurse mop the brow
* moonflake mops the doc's brow
* Zenstar gets a dishcloth and starts rubbing vult's lungs
<Zenstar> damn...gonna stain
<moonflake> '''squeak'''
* ork_khrist steals the lungs
* Zenstar hides the dishcloth under the liver
<ork_khrist> I will need thouse
<moonflake> yes, you will
* Zenstar nicks the spleen
<ork_khrist> and the liver you think
<moonflake> oh my god!
<moonflake> doctor!
<moonflake> this is unprecedented!
<ork_khrist> what?
<moonflake> there are...
<moonflake> '''gasp'''
<ork_khrist> ok wash my hands before....
<moonflake> '''hushed tones''' female parts
<moonflake> dum dum DUM!
<ork_khrist> wow havent seen thouse in a while
* Zenstar wonders if he can wear stu like a monkey suit ?
<moonflake> we knew it! all this time!
<ork_khrist> keep zen away
<Zenstar> don't close the wound... just put a zip there
<ork_khrist> never know what he will do
<moonflake> that long hair, those slim hips,....should have been a dead giveaway
* Zenstar ashes into the chest cavity
<ork_khrist> ugly for a girl though
* ork_khrist lights up 2
* Zenstar steals a kidney
<ork_khrist> how many asses does the monkey have
* Zenstar steals another kidney
* moonflake pads the hole with cotton wool..he'll never notice
<ork_khrist> perhaps we could splic ethem to stu
* Zenstar reads the future in vult's intestines
<Zenstar> '''poke'''
<ork_khrist> lean years ahead
<Zenstar> '''squidge'''
<Zenstar> '''shuffle'''
<moonflake> wow, i see a long dark tunnel.. and much pain and suffering
* Zenstar makes a lasso with the kidneys and tries to catch the doc
<ork_khrist> lets see how long his entrails are!
<Zenstar> intestines even
<moonflake> but we don't have a tennis court!
* ork_khrist dodges
* Zenstar catches a vase
<moonflake> how can we use the standard measure for intestine length if we don't have a tennis court?
<ork_khrist> no molesting the doctor
* Zenstar jams the vase and intestines back into the body
<ork_khrist> hmmm
<moonflake> yes, but intestines in vase first, or he'll never be allowed into the afterlife
* moonflake gets some straw and stuffs that in too
<ork_khrist> and the brain!
<Zenstar> heh... i got him by the long and squidgys
* moonflake gets the rusty coathanger
<moonflake> there you go, doctor!
* Zenstar gets the bandages
<ork_khrist> bwahhahahaha
<ork_khrist> mad doctoring is fun!
* Zenstar trips on some bandage and rolls past the operation
<moonflake> especialy when the patient isn't struggling
<Zenstar> whoaaaaaaaaaaa '''off into distance''' '''crash'''
<moonflake> damn those clumsy interns
* Zenstar wonders back looking like a mummy
* ork_khrist chases the nurse around the corpse... patent
<Zenstar> '''mmmfffmmfmmffmfmmmmfff'''
* moonflake smacks the doctor over the head with a bedpan
* Shrike comes back to find some kind of corpse spread out over the floor....eew
* Zenstar steals some teeth
<moonflake> how'd he get onto the floor?
<moonflake> Zenstar!!!
* Zenstar looks up
<ork_khrist> right now lets try again.
<Shrike> better check for stains
<moonflake> those weren't even gold!
<Zenstar> i didn't dop it!
<ork_khrist> we need a lightning conductor
<Zenstar> aaahhhh
<ork_khrist> and a tank of eels
* Zenstar pours in some jelly mix and hot water
* moonflake looks around for something metallic
* Zenstar mixes vult's insides with a spoon
<ork_khrist> and what are we to use as presevative
<moonflake> hmmm...toxic sludge
<ork_khrist> drink that
* Zenstar adds a little vodka
* moonflake gets the sodium benzoate
<Shrike> you know, in most countries this would get you placed in a federal pound me in the ass facility
<ork_khrist> cant drink that
* Zenstar starts ladeling out refreshments from the abdomen
* Zenstar hands the doc a paper cup
* moonflake watches as the paper cup begins to melt
<ork_khrist> perhaps we could process the preservative first
* Zenstar hands shrike a paper cup
<moonflake> dude, you got some of the acid blood in there!
* Zenstar hands moonflake a paper cup
<Zenstar> it's for the flavour
<moonflake> uhuh
* Shrike gingerly holds up the cup
* Zenstar starts wheeling the body off to the bathroom while everyone's drinking
<moonflake> oh no you don't!
<Zenstar> awwww
<ork_khrist> hey come back!
* Zenstar runs
* Zenstar locks the door behind him
<Zenstar> how YOU doing ?
* ork_khrist lasoos the corpse with the guts
<Zenstar> '''squidy sounds from bathroom'''
<moonflake> aaaaaaaaaarg!
<Zenstar> '''more squidy sounds from bathroom'''
<moonflake> well, those two always were close
* Zenstar unlocks the door and wheels the body back out
<ork_khrist> where my patient
* moonflake raises an eyebrow
<ork_khrist> oh there it is
<Zenstar> erm... over there
* Zenstar grinz
<moonflake> i'm sure there were fewer holes in it when he left
<Zenstar> erm.... he fell... on a knife
<Zenstar> yeah
<ork_khrist> 17 times
<moonflake> right, the lesser known '''rounded''' knife
<ork_khrist> in the head?
<Zenstar> it's been a while since my body met a body while people were passing out on rye
<moonflake> ooh, in the back of the head? between the lobes?
<ork_khrist> wow look at this sediment
<Vultar> '''bleh'''
<ork_khrist> it lives!
<Zenstar> i have given him the gift of life
<ork_khrist> genius!
<moonflake> hallelujah!
<ork_khrist> say something buddy!
<ork_khrist> poke!
<Vultar> When I go to hell I'm getting a day pass, then I'm going to go to heaven and kick the s#1+ out of god...
<ork_khrist> where you been?
* Zenstar hides the kidneys and teeth
* ork_khrist pushes vults eye back into its socket
* moonflake removes the ribspreaders
<Vultar> phwenemffmffmfmf
<moonflake> right, going now
<moonflake> fun over
<moonflake> patient responsive...sort of
<ork_khrist> awww
<Vultar> mwy phwides hurp...wherf my kidneef?!?!?!
* Zenstar wonders if he should get the vase back ?
<moonflake> was it expensive?
<Zenstar> wasn't mine
<moonflake> then who cares?
<Zenstar> i could have sold it
<moonflake> '''shrug'''
<ork_khrist> with or without the guts
<moonflake> not my problem, i'm outa here
<ork_khrist> noo
<Vultar> Wha! I have more holes that the plot for tomb raider 2!!!!
<moonflake> oh, coptic jars fetch much more '''with''' the guts
<Zenstar> wasn't me
<ork_khrist> stay with us nurse
* Zenstar denies all knowledge of said holes
<Vultar> hehe...coptic...that sounds naughty....
<Vultar> "I coptic'd a feel"
<moonflake> rofl
<moonflake> and on that note...
<ork_khrist> pop corn and coke?

and so the team sat back happy with their work except for vultar who had developed breathing problems and a surprising number of leaks. (and ZenStar made a fortune on the black market).