As featured in CLAWmarks31? - now open for comments and contributions.
Inspired by the works of Jeff Okamoto, Sandy Petersen and lots of others.
For] discussion & comments, including the Real Goth wars, see the Comments section at the bottom. Please use that area for comments, not the contribution area. If you add something - a variation or a new section - list your name in Contributors.
Example
Favourite system
- Bobs play whatever demo we haul them into
- Bobs play whatever I tell them to play (extra suggestion)
- Real Nerds play Cyberpunk (this suggestion was put at root level 'cause someone thought it was the best - no revert wars please)
- Real Nerds play GURPS (this original suggestion was bumped down, if it's your suggestion and you can delete it instead)
- Real Posers play Vampire and pretend it's about the politics
- Real Oldies harken back to the glories of Rolemaster
Interaction
you'll have to get CLAWmarks31? to read this section
Roleplaying
Favourite system
- Bobs play whatever demo module they're hauled into
- Real Nerds play Cyberpunk 2020
- Real Posers play World of Darkness Storyteller and pretend it's about the politics
- Real Oldies play Rolemaster
Favourite system that people actually play (circa 2004)
- Bobs play Unknown Armies
- Real Nerds play Unknown Armies
- Real Posers play Unknown Armies
- Real Oldies play D&D3.5 (because it reminds them of Rolemaster)
* (No, cos it reminds them of D&D. Original -- SynKronos)
* Real Oldies play Ars Magica... Once you've played the best, you don't go back -- ShadowsLight
Favourite Unknown Armies 'mancer
- Bobs play pornomancers
- Real Nerds play mechanomancers
- Real Posers play godwalkers
- Real Oldies want to play with The Freak
Favourite D&D3.5 character class
- Bobs ask "Aren't we supposed to call them lectures now?"
- Real Nerds discuss how 3.0 was so much better
- Real Posers sniff and deign to play min-maxed Prestige Classes
- Real Goths may be conned into playing a Specialist Mage Necromancer
- Real Oldies ask why THAC0? is upside down
LARP stereotyping
- Bobs are cast as the character that doesn't need to be in the LARP
- Real Nerds are cast as the obligatory scientist character
- Real Posers get cast as the obligatory annoying reporter
- Real Oldies get cast as the ridiculously overpowered GM tool
Other games
Warhammer armies
- Bobs play Space Marines straight from the box
- Real Nerds play Chaos Space Marines with a Bloodthirster, because the net says they're the best
- Real Posers play Dark Angel Space Marines
- Real Oldies play Space Marines straight from the very first box
Preferred card game
- Bobs play Poker
- Real Nerds play Pokemon
- Real Nerds play Magic the Gathering
- Real Posers play Vampire the Eternal Struggle, after sunset, by candle light
- Real Oldies have tons of cards from a games and expansions long out of print
- Real Oldies DON'T play card games (or they play Munchkin, as it makes fun of Old Roleplaying Games from their Youth) -- ShadowsLight
- Real Oldies play Mythos :P -- FirstFallen (lol! Nice one :P -- SynKronos)
Magic deck
- Bobs play a Green creature deck
- Real Bobs play a Green/Red preconstructed beatdown deck
- Real Nerds constantly tweak a convoluted Blue combo deck
- Real Nerds play whatever is the best Tier 1 deck at the moment (Currently Ravagaffinity)
- Real Posers play an all-shiny deck
- Real Oldies play Blue/Black control with a "Hymn to Tourach" (And Counterspells, Dark Rituals and Hypnotic Spectres -- SynKronos)
~CLAWs
When asked about the CLAWroom
- Bobs think you're talking about CafeNescafeCafe?
- Real Nerds think it's much better now that everything's on the wiki and IRC
- Real Posers make do with Jammie steps
- Real Goths mention Gargoyle Rock
- Real Oldies think you're talking about the lift shaft
What they should be doing instead of sitting at the CLAWtable?
- Bobs should be studying
- Real Nerds should be coding
- Real Posers should be sitting at the CLAWtable?
- Real Oldies should be marking
Most likely committee position
- Bobs are most likely to be Ad Hocs
- Real Nerds are the Webmonkey
- Real Posers are most likely to become CLAWthing
- Real Oldies were once a committee groupie
On the train to Icon (when there is one)
- Bobs are being assualted
- Real Nerds are playtesting Dragonfire modules
- Real Posers are having contests of manliness
- Real Oldies are busy driving
Dragonfire
During Dragonfire...
- Bobs ask "What's Dragonfire?"
- Real Nerds are on the committee
- Real Posers pitch up for the afterparty
- Real Oldies reminisce about day-long modules
What kind of modules do they write?
- Bobs write enthusiastically bad ones
- Real Nerds write a 100 page GURPS module
- Real Posers write a module for an as-yet-unheard-of system
- Real Oldies eventually submit a brilliant Cthulhu module at the last minute
Life expectency in a Call of Cthulhu module
- Bobs last until the first SAN roll
- Real Nerds survive until the Keeper throws out a monster not in the rulebook
- Real Posers last until the other players kill them for screaming too often
- Real Oldies survive right up until the encounter with He Who Must Not Be Named
Miscellaneous
Subject most likely to fail
- Bobs fail MAM100W?
- Real Nerds drop out of Ac. Sci.
- Real Posers don't count (BA courses aren't applicable)
- Real Oldies fail you!
Mortal sins
- Bobs are going to burn in hell for missing lectures
- Real Nerds are going to burn for hacking the UCT network - YetiBe
- Real Posers are going to burn for coveting their neighbour's ass
- Real Oldies are going to hell for burning pentagrams on the beach (ahhhh... good times -- ShadowsLight )
Extra-mural activities
- Bobs play computer games
- Real Nerds write computer games
- Real Posers play pool
- Real Oldies are members of the SCA
Favourite Lord of the Rings character
- Bobs like Frodo
- Real Nerds like Frodo
- Real Posers like Frodo
- Real Oldies like Frodo
(Sam will kill us if we try anything)
Martial art practised
- Bobs do karate
- Real Nerds know kung fu
- Real Posers do capoeira
- Real Oldies do ju-jitsu
Where do you go clubbing?
- Bobs party at Forries
- Real Nerds can be found at The George
- Real Posers go to Joburg
- Real Oldies go to the Underworld parties, once every two months. The creaking bones can't handle more.
- Real Oldies visit The Stoker's Arms^H^H^H Springbok Pub, for the memories
Next purchase
- Bobs are going to buy dice
- Real Nerds are about to buy another supplement to their favourite game
- Real Posers will eventually have to buy their own cigarettes
- Real Oldies are budgeting for their apartment/car/house/school fees...
Lost purity for...
- Bobs lost purity for taking the purity test
- Real Nerds lost purity for holding hands
- Real Posers lost purity for things involving power tools
- Real Oldies lost purity a long time ago
Comments
- I think that the Goths of older Claws should not be forgotten, and there are still a few of them hanging around. - InfernalRabbi
- hmmm, wouldn't related jokes then fit into Oldies? the Poser role is more broadly applicable, and insulting -- hence also the change from "geek" to "nerd" -- when I no longer have an exam to worry about, I'll post the stuff so far, which I think will give a better idea
- I actually meant, there are still some goths in claws that b0bs (to me, as I don't know them). - InfernalRabbi
- angsting about goths, who'da thunk? ;) - okay, the point is that when talking about, say, wargaming, the goth category doesn't neccesarily apply (can you think of a wargaming + goth joke? magic the gathering + goth?) - whereas you do get poser wargamers (and nerd wargamers, and old wargamers and new wargamers) - needless to say that goths, geeks, rules lawyers, DMGs?, lecturers, jocks and other minorities are all open targets - on the other hand, if you can generate a volume of Real Goth contributions, we can use 'em instead - d@vid July 15 2004
- I am done, contribute and comment away - d@vid July 22 2004
- re. Favourite System That People Actually Play (c. 2004): wtf?? UA is not that popular, sorry -- SynKronos
- I recall you have recently begun a 3.5Ed campaign? :) in CLAWs, on campus, right now, UA is insanely popular - I'm not saying this is a good thing, I'm just reporting the facts - d@vid July 25 2004
- Look, are you trying to imply something with that 3.5 comment????????? :P -- SynKronos
- this update reflects the article as contributed to CLAWmarks31? - thanks to everyone for your erudite social insight :D - d@vid July 25 2004