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TheTome /
MojoArchiveYou are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. MojoArchive. Time to Trim.Ah. The life of a CLAWs student: http://cascadefailure.keenspace.com/comics/20031006.gif Pah! I laugh in the face of sleep deprivation and looming deadlines. Of course, this laughter is the desperate laughter of a man who has nothing to lose, but nevertheless... I laugh! Ha ha! Hee Hee! Ho ho! Comparatively, it's still pretty early. Just a scant 15 minutes till 2. Normally, I'd be fine right now. Busy and industrious. This is, if I had anything to do. You see, I've managed to organise it so that all I am responsible for is the interface of my little program. This would be great... if only I had something to interface it to. Currently, I'm sitting waiting for others to finish their products. My stuff works fine. It just doesn't have anything to work with.
It's amazing how satisfyingly peaceful campus is late at night. Well, except for the giggling folk next to me. I rather wish they'd shut up. Their hilarity is like a spike being driven through my brain. Not their fault... it's just that the idea of other people actually enjoying themselves at this ungodly hour is an offense to both my tender sensibilites and the baby Jesus.
Speaking of the baby Jesus, I bought a TV Tuner card the other day. It doesn't work. I hate it when that happens. Here I am, expecting to be able to record my favourite television programs in beautiful, high-quality digital video. Instead, I get beautiful high-quality video and a series of repetitive pops where the audio should be. Oh - and the high-quality digital video? Shitty, low-quality digital video. Apparently, this is just a problem with the technology. So anyhow, this is one purchase that is coming straight 'off' my account. To be fair, the only reason I bought it was because I'm too lazy to get up and operate the video machine. Which has a remote. Which sits next to me. And I can reach the machine to put tapes in. But still - the thought is there.
Well, did absolutely nothing of productive interest over this long weekend. In fact, I worked for most of it. It seems for me that being on holiday really means being on semi-permanent retainer up at my work. It's kinda fun - I get to boss people around. People like Sedick. He's coloured, so you really have to watch him closely. He'll steal if you don't. I also have to watch my other workmate, Nasser. He's also a darkie. And you can't trust those darkies. I keep telling him to keep his thieving, dishonest friends out of my store, but he won't listen.
It really is one of my simple pleasures, insulting my workmates. Particularly Nasser. I mean, making fat jokes about Sed is all well and good, but I can get my quota of those on campus, during varsity time. When I go to work I still like to make fat jokes... but now about my colleagues' girlfriends. He he he. They all just take it. Well, except for Adrian. He'd probably smack me if I said anything. But Nasser definitely just takes it like a little bitch.
Hmm. This is a long weekend, isn't it? Let me check... yes, Monday is a public holiday. What the hell I am doing still sober enough to type? Biding my time, people, that's what. I figure Icon is coming up soon. And Icon means a trip to a city that I don't have to return to for at least a year. Which means that I plan on going clubbing. And being (with my mates, of course) a complete monster. You think you know what a party animal is like? Take that, multiply it ten times and remove anything resembling shame. Ladies and gentlement, welcome to your worst nightmare... It's gonna be great. I'm trying to think of suggestions to amuse people on their holidays. So far I've come up with the following list:
W00t! Freedom at last! Finished my exams yesterday, and finished my commercial programming work today... leaving me with absolutely nothing of any importance what-so-ever to do! Yippee! Of course, I'd actually really rather have something to occupy my time. Currently I'm seeing a rather large amount of Mahjongg in my immediate future. Or rather, an interesting variant called Rivers. Give it a try. It wastes my time, so it has to be good (then again, this is coming from someone who checks Sexy Losers daily). Soon, soon, the horror (oh the horror) of CompSci? (well, CSC302F?) will be over for me. In fact, just 24 hours till I'm able to forget the endless pain that is PLT. I'm suring most of you also have subjects that fill you with dread as you contemplate the herculean task that will be trying to learn all of the arcane knowledge they expect you to absorb. And after that, just 5 scant days till the exams are over... and that means holiday time! Of course, holiday time is probably going to be dull. You know what I mean - once you've actually got the time free there's nothing to do. I guess I can get some new games or something. Anything, really, to pass the time. On the other hand, it is cold and wintery... which means that those of us who have girlfriends will be enjoying warm snugglings. Ooh - that makes me think of books. People who read sufficiently understand the sublime pleasure of curling up with a good book, in a warm bed (preferably with an electric blanket, if you have one). Heck, when I think about it, this holiday might not be too bad...
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/straightouttacompton.jpg Yeah, that's right. So don't mess with me, or I'll have to pop a cap in yo' ass. If anyone's got a problem with that, I'll challenge you to Battle Rap. You'll lose, mofo.
On a slightly less wigger note, holiday enthuisasm is dead, killed by work worries and general annoyances. I hate it how that happens. The joy of being away from varsity is replaced by the realisation that there is still work to be done, still deadlines (of a sort) and still no time to do stuff I want to. Like, for example, slacking off at home playing computer games. Or watching DVD's. Or shaving my leg hair carefully to spell "Jebus is my lord". All the important things in life.
Finally. All fucking hand-ins are completed. DP's are in. Lectures are, to all intents and purposes, over. You all know what that means: It's "drink till we forget our own names and anything resembling standards or morals and hit on woman that in the light of day will probably turn out to be men" time. I'm talking about creatures such as these Cliff Yablonski Hates You As far as I'm concerned the only way those sorts of people will ever get any action is by the charity of drunken strangers. So come-on guys, do your Christian duty. Fuck one today.
Had a friends 21st last night. Roxoring fun, I have to say. Free food, free booze. Mmm. Free booze. Plus, they put cherries in the champagne glasses. Classy. I think. Somehow, adding fruit to liquor gives it a touch of style. A dash of panache. Hey. That rhymes. I'm disappointed, though. His parents didn't leave, so I had to tune down my 21st speech a little bit. Didn't get to mention some of the really dodgy stuff the guy had managed to do. His exact words to me were: "I'm a virgin and I don't drive drunk". Seriously. His parents are 21 and they're expected to believe this stuff. Everyone else sure as hell knows better.
Yay! Last day of UCT tomorrow. The weekend beckons. And despite my wallet taking large hits from a number of sources, I still plan on having a jolly good time. Arrr. Jolly.
Noooooo!!!!! Why god why! uncontrolled sobbing sounds Swibble. If I'm at UCT tomorrow, it'll be a surprise. My brains are dribbling from my nostrils, accompanied by a rapid diminuation of my ability to form rational thought. But that's okay, what do I need to think for anyhows? Ah well. It's back the grind at Uni for all us students. At least the possibility of graduation at the end of the year is something to look forward to, although odds are I'll just be coming back to do Honours. Not that I want to, mind you, it's just something that's basically expected and required (at least if I want to roll in the filthy lucre of a burgeoning career in IT).
Time for me to sleep. I'm waiting for the weekend. Seem to spend most of my time doing that, actually. No idea why. Shrug.
Why don't peoples' computers keep working once I turn my back? I'm getting really, really sick of fixing the same damned problem again and again. It's like these people (whom I will call "computer incompetent") radiate some kind of entropic field that interferes with the regular operation of complex electronic systems. I'm assuming that I (and other engineering folk) give off the opposite aura. Aura of the Engineer (3pt merit). Anyone who's ever fixed anything knows what I'm talking about. While you're there, it works like a dream. Leave (invariably back to home or your office, a good distance away) and it all breaks down again. It's like magic. Really, incredibly, suckingly annoying magic. On the other hand, being payed just to radiate an aura that makes stuff work is pretty fun. You pitch up there. You fiddle with a few settings. Things work. You get paid. You leave. Things break. You return. Rinse. Repeat. Drive business to bankruptcy. Ah. The simple life.
Anyone who's done Tech Support will like this article.
I cannot wait to get back to UCT. My holiday is really starting to drag on now. I've basically run out of things I want to do. Now I just want something to occupy my days. And a gut instinct tells me that this will be hanging around on campus, maybe even attending lectures. I found a decent site for IT rip-off news the other day. Any website which has an articles about Jar-Jaromir in the Return of the King gets my stamp of approval.
Liquid Generation also have some funny stuff. It is flash though, and does take a bit of time to load (nothing too bad). They've got a bunch of weird games - like Whoose Boobs? which has great theme music. I almost believed that. Oh, and they gave me this award: http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/street-pimp.jpg
Yay me? Notice the lack of timestamps? If you really care about when I bothered to post an entry, just click info. Maybe I'll add them in when I'm posting more frequently. But at this point, I don't care. You know - that seems to be a major theme in my life. Not caring, that is. I find I just can't give a flying rat toss about most things. Then again, seeing as I've never tossed a flying rat before, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. I suppose you'd be tossing a bat, right? Or one of those gliding tree squirrels.
Who watched Angel today? While I'm all for relationships on the series (Go Lilah and Wes! w00t!), I'm not so keen on the relationship Fred's having. Gunn is annoying in his own right (he made one too many bad sexual references this episode), but mixed with the whining of Fred? It's just plain off-putting. And I'm sorry, but those icky, gooey Frunn scenes are just... disturbing.
Time to do my hair and get ready to drink my many, varied sorrows into oblivion.
Oh: This one's for you, Steve: http://sinfest.net/comics/sf20030113.gif
Bleh. It's just crossed 3:06 in the morning, and I'm far too drunk to bother posting a proper entry. There is a temptation to just not bother with the backspace key and just post whatever crosses my fingers, but a quick proof reading shows me this is not a good idea. For me this is the last drunken post before I focus on my studies for my sup. on Wednesday. It's okay - being drunk I hit on a lot of women at Gandalfs. And some of them even remembered my name. Smoke that, Robyn. Otherwise, these days I've been playing Diablo 2 a lot. If I'm lucky I should pick up Lord of Destruction tomorrow. Else I'll just play it while bitching at my work-mates. TANJ. Any guesses as to what that means?
Forgive the short post. You have no idea how drunk I am.
New Year, new diary. I felt I had to start up again because people have been ribbing me that my dirty slag minger bitch ho (sorry - Digital Tourettes) sister has been kicking my ass in the diary stakes. I disagree. Just because she's posted every day for the past week (roughly) while I haven't posted in a month, doesn't mean a thing. It's all about quality not quantity. Now that the obligatory sister-slagging is complete, onto the good stuff. Phobia of the day: Arachibutyrophobia - the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Any sufferers out there? I'm sure there are organisations to help you recover from this sort of thing. Then again, I can't imagine that this is a particularly debilitating phobia. It's not like: "Oh god, I can't go outside. Not into those crowds with those peanut butter salesmen". Then again, in some parts of the world you just don't know.
You have no idea how bored I can get over the holiday period. I can get very bored. Very. Very, Very bored. This bored: VERY BORED. See? Oh so bored.
Anyone who's been watching a lot of television lately might well have caught the glorious series called Mutant X which SABC3? has seen fit to force us to watch. It's a pathetic rip-off of X-Men. I'm surprised they haven't been sued for intellectual copyright infringement. I mean, come on... putting X in the name basically tries to buy in on the whole X-Men thing. Hmm. A show about mutants with the letter X in the title. Suspicious? Not to mention just how truly crap the show is. It's fucking pathetic. I've come to the conclusion that all the male cast members cover their faces in wood varnish before filming so as to prevent any emotion from crossing their faces as they deliver lines so pathetic that a two year old child playing with letter blocks could write a better script. The female characters all seem so in need of a good stiff beef injection that I'm surprised they aren't raging femi-nazi's. Sigh. Just watch an episode today... you'll see.
In case you're wondering, no I don't plan on recapping my holiday and new years. So don't ask.
http://combatwombat.com/images/wombatx.gif 23 December 00:05 am Did you know that with a .NET passport you get 30mb online to share images with friends and family? I didn't till now. So I've uploaded Janet's 1920's party images for people. If you want to get any prints, ask me (it's R2 an image, if I remember correctly). These are the low resolution thumbnails. I've got the full res ones at home (not a chance I'm uploading those - 1.4mb a piece). 13 November 21:21 pm Okay, since it's holidays, don't expect regular posting. I'm far too damn lazy to bother when as far as I'm concerned most people won't be checking the Wiki on a regular basis. On the movies front: Don't waste your time with Deuces Wild. It's completely crap. I'm convinced that the director decided to make a movie that would only appeal to a very small section of the public: deaf people. It's not that the dialogs were terrible (which they were - I haven't heard shit like that since my Grandmother messed up her blood pressure medication and started seeing things and talking to dead people). No no, it was the accents. The horrible, fake, Italian accents. I spent the entire film cringing every time someone opened their mouth. Not to mention how terribly cliched the entire story was... that's an entirely different matter.
Signs, on the other hand, was actually rather decent (or at least I thought so). The rest of the film aside, it was a decent horror. I enjoyed it! It had that weee-this-is-fun-tingly-ooh-I-bet-that-was-scary feel. Worthy of the hype... I'd give it an 8/8.5 - no Oscars, though.
11 November 21:46 pm My exams are over. I'm 20. The holiday has begun. News in short. 04 November 22:02 pm Two exams down, 1 left to go. This exam I wrote this morning was piss. Complete piss. It has got to be one of the fucking easiest things I've ever written. I was pretty confident even before I saw the paper, but once I had a squizz through... well, I did a little jig of joy. Dance, little piggy, dance. The paper only took me about half of the allotted time anyway. Including doing the long question things (such beautiful ones as: Give us your specifications for a web server... Come on! I fucking work at a computer store - sooooo easy). I really need more hobbies. Currently I've fallen back into my age-old addiction on emulated console games (well, Gameboy games, actually). The Gameboy Advance has some good titles, apparently. I'm playing Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis. It's fun! And quite good, too. It's a turn-based strategy game with little men. And levels.
It's getting tricky to find titles, though. They don't exactly make it easy to find decent sites to grab 'em from. Most of the sites are just farmed out advertising mirrors without actual content. Sigh. Better luck next time.
02 November 20:46 pm Last night was glorious. Absolutely glorious. No, seriously... glorious. Ask any man there - absolutely funfuckingtastic! And the night didn't end after Gandalfs. While I should have gone to sleep once I got home (seeing as I was working at 8:30) I didn't. No, instead I invited Michael in for coffee and sat talking shit to him for the next three hours. Playing Devil's advocate. Till 5 in the morning. God worked sucked. It was fun. I think I won (well, as close as you can get to winning in that kind of an argument... and I'm sure he disagrees). It's one of those things that are fun to do every now and then (but not too often).
01 November 20:13 pm Tonight is of course the night after Halloween, so we're drinking heavily for no good reason. Oh, and listening to NiN? (Closer). For no good reason. I refuse to get sidetracked on another session of downloading mank pics for the wiki. Roger keeps telling me that Rachael Leigh Cook is 'da shit'. Which is admittedly v. true, but still. I'm trying to be a better person. Don't you fucking laugh.
31 October 11:34 pm Happy Halloween. Or some shit. Problem with exams - you just can't really go out and do anything fun. Or rather, you really shouldn't. I decided to bow to pressure and do a little studying tonight. However, tomorrow evening is the trip to Gandalfs for their fancy dress party. Not that I'll dress up. Fuck that - nobody else will (and yes, I am aware that attitudes like this are why nobody participates). Go tell someone who cares. Once again, there is no damned water at my house. The problem, you see, is that we happen to have only the shittiest water main in existance running down my street. This thing is so old that it breaks on a regular basis. And I mean, really fucking regular. Every two months, on average. And when this happens they have to dig it up and replace the section. At this rate the problem should be fixed once they've replaced the entire damned line. Till then, we get these regular periods of no goddamn water. That's no shower, no toilet, no tap water. Bloody inconvenient if you ask me.
28 October 22:25 am I've come to realise that my work on Saturdays is completely pointless and trivial. I mean, it's a job that doesn't exactly take any dedication or effort to perform. I have absolutely no difficulty in doing it every single time with no more than 4 hours of sleep. I kinda feel like Jack from Fight Club while he's an insomniac. At work, the world feels rather distant and irrelevant. Not to mention, my work is also mind-numbingly dull. I fantasized on Saturday about slaughtering every customer in the store and then going on a rampage through the mall. Start off with a SMG burst into the face of that annoying bitch who came in whining about her printer not working properly and how we shouldn't sell people crap. Spray those little bastards who only browse the PS1? titles with hot 9mm death. Wee!
Of course, it doesn't stop there. Once the clip is empty, drop that bastard and grab a pump-action. Swing out of the store and put a solid slug round through the chest of that foul-smelling cross dresser who occasionally visits (he's got this clove perfume that stinks). Oh - joy of watching his guts spray themselves across the crappy display at the chinese illegal console games store. Pump the shotgun, loading a nice buckshot round, and then wipe out the slant-eyed bastards who run that store with a couple of rounds. Drop the shotgun, whipping out a pair of Desert Eagle .50's and then begin a Matrix-like action sequence as I eliminate the entire security department, and carefully headshot each of the two cops who buy shit at Game. In my head it was kinda like that, but with more blood. And chicks.
24 October 00:12 am Late night at the hotel Gareth-fornia. There is evil in this world! And that evil is Windows Messenger! It is satan, my children! Listen to me preach it's sin!
On a slightly more practical and realistic note, we went out for supper tonight (Bronwyn's B-day). I took snaps with my new digital camera. I'll make them availabe when I have the time and inclination. So, probably not for a good period.
21 October 22:29 pm Yet more apologies. This time my excuse has been that my uncle has been re-installing his webserver, so I haven't had much internet access. This past week has been pretty depressing. Tiff (an old friend of mine, and a number of other CLAWMembers?) committed suicide on Wednesday. Her funeral and wake was today. Not fun in any circumstance. A lot of people are taking it kinda hard, although it's never easy to lose someone you were close to. Sed and I have been talking about her quite a bit. We found out about her death at Ian's 21st on Friday - way to ruin an otherwise decent party.
Weekend elsewise was as per usual. Clubbing at the usual places with the usual people. No surprises.
I'm finding it difficult to write stuff. I keep thinking about Tiff and her death. Kinda odd how these things affect you. I hadn't seen Tiff much since she came back from England (something I regret), but I still felt rather attached. It's more regret at having not made more of an effort to get in contact, and at not getting to know her better while I had the chance.
15 October 14:44 pm Hmm. It seems it's been a week since my last actual post. I tried twice during the past week, but a fucking slow ftaghn and a helpingly slow connection on my end have combined in order to completely screw my ability to post. I had a good weekend. I had a much longer post about this, but it got lost in the electronic ether. There was much that was commented on. I think I'm off to see a movie now. Schiavo.
08 October 20:49 pm It's been a while since I posted, I know. I blame it on too much partying, not enough actual work. Doesn't make sense, right? Well - here's my philosophy: The more time you spend not doing work the harder it is to actually settle down and do some. Let's take me as a classic example - all play, no work. This of course results in me crying like a schoolgirl every time tests or exams roll around. Pathetic, isn't it? Well, let's examine my weekend. First, Friday night. I went off to Gandalf's as per usual (except this time having had more to drink). I don't perfectly remember all of that night, but it seemed to go well. I think. I was sober by the time I went home, but there was definitely at least four more drinks down the hatch while I was out and about. Can't really recall what I did. I hope it was good - I'm sure there weren't any skanky tarts involved. I do hold myself lucky that I didn't go off to my friends thing. Apparently it was fun up till a point where organic fertilizer impacted with the rotary ventilation device (BTW - I searched, but couldn't find a picture of shit hitting a fan... perhaps CLAWs should do something about this. With a high speed camera. Graphic). Anyhow, with only two hours of sleep I went to work. Which fucking sucked. It seemed to be parents-bring-your-screaming-fucking-annoying-little-children-who-fuck-up-the-merchandise-and-make-loud-noises-and-close-the-doors-and-get-in-the-way-day. If there was anything I didn't need it was vermin in my store. So that really rubbed my tits the wrong way.
So after work I return home for some well deserved afternoon sleep. In my usual clothes (if you want to know what that is: Answer - code1: wanna code2: know text: -START-ZE73O68V9m?-IGQ08Y6bJ?--END--) So after another two hours I get rudely awoken and forced to exercise. So, now sweaty and tired (plus my feet hurt like hell from standing at work all day) I get a good long shower. And then I go out to Gandalf's again. I really am a sucker for punishment. Another good night (IMHO). Some new faces, which is always good to see. Finally, Sunday night passes uneventfully. Monday finds me learning all kinds of new shit I didn't care to know about (oh yes - at some point on the weekend, probably Friday, Keightley was kind enough to inform me of her latest masturbatory exploits. Shudder with joy, ladies and gentlement). So, that kinda sucked. And today I went to watch a movie - The Sweetest Thing. Completely arbitrary. This is a movie that has no idea what it's trying to be - seriously. It jumps between a drama, a romance, a comedy and a musical. Freaky. On the plus, my folks are going away this weekend - so I get to be all alone in my house. Somehow the thought of eating cereal all weekend is appealing.
That's enough for tonight. I'm gonna go off and continue studying for my tests tomorrow and Thursday. Wish me luck! On MojoComments!
04 October 19:14 pm Great. Tonight was meant to be an alcoholic blow-out of note. However, as per usual, fate has intervened and my friend Shaun has scheduled his 20th birthday party tonight. And, while I would really have liked to attend (and in fact even tried to make plans that allowed me to go for a couple of hours) I can't. This of course leaves me feeling like shit - torn between two different groups of friends. Fuck. Oh well. Tonight anyhow is Operation Ratfucked. One of those evenings where excessive alcoholism not just occurs, but is planned. While JD? needs no assistance, Steve requires some help so that he can drink incredibly heavily and not worry about driving home. So that's taken care of - Roger will provide transport! Goodie!
I'm still pissed off about the damned conflict. It's these little things that really get my goat. And make me drink my sixpack early (4 down, 2 to go). On the other hand, I've sworn that I'm not going to let outside concerns affect me tonight. Tonight is selfish night. Whatever the fuck makes me feel good is what I'm gonna indulge in (within limits).
I may well update when I get back from all this.
02 October 20:03 pm Short post - I just want to wish Adrianna good luck for her operation tomorrow. Hope it goes well! 01 October 20:31 pm A new month, a new calendar girl: Kerry McGregor - wearing what appears to be a see-through white wet teddy. How very tasteful. No complaints from here though. I visited Cavendish today, and was browsing around Look & Listen with Steve. We happened to examine the contents of the soundtracks section - how very... interesting. Most notable was music inspired by Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3. I mean, the game rocks - but inspires music? Think of it: "540 Radial, eat the tarmac, 360 Kickflip, feel the pain, 180 Nosegrab, bleeding hard". I wouldn't pay for that. Well, maybe, but only if I had way too much money and time. But I did find the soundtrack for Josie and the Pussycats - one of my favourite movies of all time. It rocked! The soundtrack is all by the band that did the songs for the movie, so you get all the tracks from the film plus a bunch extra. I'm probably gonna break my tradition of not downloading audio for this one.
Mean Machine was kinda cool. It was definitely not up to the standard of Lock, Stock or Snatch - and I wouldn't recommend it if you're expecting another one in that vein. But on it's own it had good bits - namely Monk. Only the scariest motherfucking soccer goalie ever. Period.
Once again it seems to be school holidays. Funny how being at university brings this almost immediate and complete dissociation with the little shits. A side effect of actually having to think for yourself, I think. Even so, these little bastards are running amok again - beware.
IMDb is an awesome site for any movie information. It's got reviews, ratings, cast listings, complete trivia and goof sections, soundtracks, merchandise - the works. Nicely done pages, searchable. Worth a look - just like x-entertainment it's somewhere to lose a couple of hours. Or more.
28 September 20:45 pm Tonight, something different (or strangely the same). I'm bored and can't be bothered to present intellectual or even funny comment (I blame it on having already had 3 Applejuice's. Alone. Anyway, without further ado, I present: FHM's Girls exclusively commissioned for Mojo! Just keeping it real. Peace, brothers.
26 September 20:19 pm Ooh. Ooh. Highlander: The Endgame is on! It's MST3K? time! First off - the entire premise of highlander is a complete load of crap. The plot has been changed about 4 fucking times. I can't remember which one it was, but I recall it being explained that the highlanders must kill each other until only one remains - who will then become El Durrito, the head man. It doesn't make much sense. Then, in the next movie, it is revealed that they're all aliens banished to Earth and that only one is allowed back (the one who survives). WTF? Couldn't they do this somewhere else, like in an arena or something. Get it done quickly and with television coverage. Not to mention the shit with the Atmospheric Shield and stuff (I can't remember the details, but it was wack). Not to mention that Sean Connery dies in the first movie but manages to appear in the second.
The film starts well enough with an old lady being blown up by a bomb. Wee! Then again... don't you fucking have to chop off their heads? Blowing 'em up with a bomb from half a kilo away doesn't strike me as very sporting. Smart, yes. Sporting, no. And what about the whole soul-sucking shit? What does this teach our kids? If you're being picked on, just kill the bully and chop off his head. Then you'll be able to beat up anyone at school. Back to the movie. It's revealed that the man who blew up his house is still wearing the same shoes he had on back in 1555. I reckon they must be real comfy by now. Seriously, you see this guys shoes 20 times. By the end of this movie everyone knows that he's got a nice pair of takkies he never takes off. Although we are treated to a scene of Connor's mother being burned alive. That's gotta leave mental scars. Ooh. Now we notice that Connor doesn't really like priests. Even though with that whole no-killing-on-religious-ground thing it kinda indicates there may well be a God and it's probably not a good thing to piss him off by killing off his servants. Then again, if nothing short of a madman with a sword can hurt you it might well lead to some kind of Megalomania. Of course, all this is being recounted to us with his thoughts while we see some people chained up in weird chairs in a dark basement. Kinky, maybe.
Oooooh. Motorbike ninja nazis! This movie gets better and better. There's something cool about watching a persons finger get ripped off as his gun is turned against him. This whole bit makes no sense. Why is a bunch of immortals looking for Connor Macleoud? Although they do take advantage of a bunch of immortals tied up in a basement. Wait... it seems now that Connor is a not the only important person. We've got some tit called Duncan wandering around asking questions. How dull. It seems that these two know each other (and, as we see in a flashback, enjoy synchronised dancing). Apparently they used to have wild homosexual sex. Er. Practice swordfighting together while discussing philosophy.
Now we've got a fight scene: Duncan against the Immortal Pimps. Jesus Christmas. You've gotta see these outfits to believe them. These guts dress like they're fresh from a Playa's and Prostitutes party. At the end of all this, we have a sensible guy who just shoots Duncan. Open up some Gun-Fu on his ass. Of course, for this flagrant breach of protocol he gets decapitated by the big badass (who wields a gold-plated hacksaw). Duncan gets saved after he falls out a window and onto a spike by some guys who just conveniently happened to be hanging around outside with a powersaw. These guys are "The Watchers" who seem to want to make sure that no-one wins among the immortals. They're a bit scared of what'll happen. So they're in the business of locking immortals up so they can't kill each other. Small jail-time later, Duncan's out and visiting a graveyard to have a look at Connor's "body".
Of course, since you can't kill on holy ground (I wonder what happens?) we have a face-off between the baddy and Connor. This comes off more as a bad attempt at amateur dramatics than anything meaningful. I can't believe this guy (Kell) actually takes himself seriously. He rasps his way through his lines like the Marlboro man. This guy must be so hopped up on mothballs he can't think straight, cause he certainly isn't impressing anyone.
I'm neglecting the whole side plot with some chick called Kate. It appears that Duncan was once married to this bitch (btw, she now dresses like a prostitute and works for the bad guys). Moreover, it seems that only a violent death will guarantee immortality. Since when he married her she didn't know one she was an Immortal, it seems that in order to stay married forever Duncs had to slip it to her when she wasn't looking. Stick his dagger in her. Wait. That sounded bad. Still, imagine chopping up your wife so you can yell "surprise" when she wakes up again. What a mindfuck.
Okay, now we've got another really cheesy line from the badman: "A woman is a temple, built over a sewer". Does he actually believe the shit he spouts? Picture yourself saying this without laughing. I couldn't do it, and I'm the master of oral excrement production.
This film jumps around more than a Jackrabbit on Speed. We have a flashback scene of Duncan having sex with Kate, which completes with us seeing that rather than just being a wet dream, she actually came to visit him for some quick catch-up rumpty. These characters make less sense than the cast of Mulholland Drive. Back to the film - we see that Kell, despite his frequent claims to be a Christian man, takes great pleasure in inviting his so-called flock to dinner and then chopping off their heads. Real Christian. Did I misread those commandments? I'm fairly sure that "kill your neighbours and drink their souls" wasn't on the list.
http://www.angelfire.com/movies/highlanderendgame/images/ROOF5.jpg http://www.angelfire.com/movies/highlanderendgame/images/ROOF6.jpg
Excellent! A fight scene between Connor and Duncan. It appears that Connor has a death wish and so forces Duncan to lop his head off. It's a very touching scene. Kinda. When they're not swinging lumps of metal at each other. It was summed up quite nicely by the incredibly homosexual line Duncan delivers: "I love you Connor. Make love to me Connor".
Fast forwarding to the final fight scene, D & K are magically transported to an old factory. Why does EVERY fucking climax fight happen in an old factory? Terminator. Terminator 2. The One. Just to mention a few. Hell, even Mount Doom in the Lord of the Rings is kinda like an old factory. This has got to be one of the most overused plot devices ever. Not that it actually adds anything, its just so cliched.
Predictably, D wins the fight and saves the day. Plus, he gets some free nookie 'cos Kate (whom we though was dead, along with the other dinner-guests) shows up afterwards. No explanation is given why she didn't cop it with the rest, but hey - nothing else in this movie made much sense, why start now.
I can't believe I just wasted 90 minutes of my life watching this shit. I kinda wish there was some way I could go back in time and warn myself against doing this stuff. Then again, if I could do that I'd invest in Thawte Consulting, drive a Ferrari and be married to Eliza Dushku?. There's no justice.
People - I've noticed that I've amassed quite a large page since I started. Is it time to start moving old entries into MojoArchives?? Drop me a line on MojoComments and tell me what you think.
25 September 19:13 pm There really was a lot of activity on the wiki in the past 24 hours. Even without the server move, a lot of people put stuff up. Well done people! Wee! I noticed a mild Cthulhu theme - so I did some digging and was able to find one of those sites.
Cthulhu Myth Hoes - Give in to your fish fuck fetish. It's funnier that someone actually thought they'd get a decent visitors. Jesus. I don't think anyone is quite this sad. There are actually quite a few cool Cthulhu related sites on the net though. Although a lot of broken links too. We missed Campus Crusade for Cthulhu! What were we thinking? We'll have to wait till next year before we elect the one true master of our Earth to his rightful place in the SRC (not only do his policies and reforms make sense, but he'll eat all the other candidates. Victory is guaranteed!). Why Vote for a lesser Evil? If you're still not sure: Ask Cthulhu!
24 September 10:10 pm I really should get to sleep. Got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. And last night's posts have disappeared. I'm annoyed. I thought they were decent. Can't remember what they were about, though. But they were still decent. Try this. It's scorched earth (remember that old classic?) but done in full 3D. Nice water. Kinda fun, but still needs work. Not too large though - might be worth a look. Really nicely done water.
] Damn modern technology. I raped Battlefield 1942 from work, but it doesn't work without a 3D card capable of Hardware T&L. And my shitty TNT2? doesn't do that. I hate my display card. But I don't have money to do anything about it. Sigh. Finally got to see Minority Report. Very cool movie, but I'm afraid the spider robots were a little bit out of place - they seemed far more high-tech than the rest of the stuff in the movie (but I'm probably just being pedantic). Great special effects. I want one of those pulse gun thingies. Sweet. And a sick-stick. Bleeurgh. Instant free meal at a restaurant.
There's nothing worse than having to pick your pets fur out of the rotor in most commercial blenders. That's why Insta-Liqui 2000 is the vetenarians choice for protein shakes. Buy the brand doctors trust. Buy Insta-Liqui.
23 September 00:17 am Oh ah. Long weekends. Staying up late when you should be sleeping & getting ready for UCT. Pimpin' to all my E-Bitches. The usual. Revisiting recent developments at the CasualKiss?:
http://www.casualkiss.com/misc/quick.aspx?pageType=full&towhoID=123155 Someone sign his tagbook! Give the man a hand. I'm thinking it would be cool to get more feedback going on my shit. Therefore, I present MojoComments. Feel free to post your own comments. I may decide to have stuff like votes and surveys and sign-up forms for weird debauched sex parties involving peanut butter, Maori dwarfs and litchi's. Remember, indiscriminate posting is fun. Talk shit - I do.
I wonder how many places are going to be closed on Tuesday. Reading x-entertainment has inspired me to search through dodgy side stores for shit. Oh yes, and I still want to go out spraypainting peoples hubcaps bright colours. Imagine the looks on their faces when they have a look at their cars the next morning - with assorted lumo styles on the wheels. Muhubwahahahaha! Professor Kaos strikes again!
Ever folded a bottle cap over? It kinda looks like a clam.
Oh yeah. Saturday night was disappointing. Nothing much happened of interest (at least to me). Perhaps other people had more fun - but Gandalfs was rather disappointingly dead.
Maybe I should get off my ass and run a role-playing game. It would do me good to be responsible for something. I'd probably go with the general flow these days and run an Unknown Armies game - but with my own style of bastardishness. Talk to Brendan. It's not like I don't suggest enough shit to that boy. On the other hand, I could quite passably run a cyberpunk style game, but there would have to be a decent system for it. And I don't know of any. I think four players (my personal preferance). Probably a very free gameworld (from my perspective). Don't expect any kind of enforced paradigm. Unknown Armies with far more shit(tm). Adepts and avatars are cool, but there is so much more fucked up stuff I can do. If my imagination can come up with it it would probably be in there. This of course comes with me screwing my players in creative and interesting ways. Everything from your soul being stolen by a voodoo ritual to discovering your parents are escaped Nazi supersoldiers. Yes - Aryan �bermensche! I think you get the idea. Suggestions and sign-ups to MojoComments. If it isn't there, create it.
Whatever. I don't know why I go through the motions. GirlsOfMojo 21 September 03:06 am Tonight was another one of those unproductively enjoyable outings. As per standard, our trip was to the current venue of choice for shenanigans - Gandalfs! The promise of the day of course started with Buffy - the greatest episode ever! Musicals! It was soooo cool! Froth! Gibber! We also watched Zoolander on DVD ("kill the Malaysian Prime Minister, obey my dog"). Washing this down was dinner at Pancho's. The verdict is that their Chicken Nacho's should not be tried as hot. The mild is far more tasty.
On then to the party. An excellent collection of folks provided the perfect platform for commentary and debauched conversation. Perhaps I should quickly recap on the Dramatis Personae:
The actors in place, it was rapidly apparent that there would be many comments worthy of repeating. Unfortunately, my memory suffers... so if any of you remember some of this shit, feel free to place it here.
On to the dodgy visitors to Gandalfs this evening.
There were many others in attendance, but I've left them out in order to concentrate on the memorable ones who earned names. Don't worry - there were plenty of people who got "check out 6 o'clock" comments. As an aside, we've figured that JD is a breast man, Grant is a face man and I'm an ass man. Different strokes for different folks, as it were.
We plan on repeating this again Saturday night. This time, with alcohol and feeling.
19 September 21:50 pm Aww. Cute. CatHaiku's. 18 September 21:15 pm Hunter's Dry. I'm addicted to the stuff. Mmmm, deliciously crisp apple beverage of joy. I've developed a philosophy over time which I believe explain's beer drinking. People don't drink beer because they like it - they drink beer because they can't drink anything else. Most drinks have a DoS? (Denial of Service) effect. If you over-indulge, you can't have them again. Ever. But this doesn't happen with beer. No matter how much you have, how drunk you get, how sick you feel... beer never leaves. You can always come back to beer. It's evil. And nutty. But mainly evil. But this brings me back to Hunter's Dry (hereafter referred to as "AppleJuice") and it's goodness.
I know. I know. I'm a bad man. There's more on GirlsOfMojo.
Although I am taking applicants to punish me...
17 September 23:23 pm Vin Diesel is XXX. Actually a pretty cool movie. This one has it all - guns, stunts (oooh, the stunts), womyn, and of course - Rammstein performing in a club. Very cool. Need to play more Tony Hawk. Love that game. Sure, takes practice before you can pull off those stunning 540 One Foot Japan's dropping into a nose manual, Truck Stand, ooh - Boneless. Play the game - learn the moves - love the points.
16 September 20:34 pm I hate colds. And I really hate clowns - and not just because it's popular. Look at them. Scary Clowns. Serial Killer Klowns. Yesss.
This makes LAN parties sound like something dodgy: 11 September 21:07 pm Bleeaurgh. I need to learn to schedule work better. Too many nights working till ungodly hours and only getting a couple hours sleep - the worst thing? I look compus mentus but have that dark evil cloud lurking behind my eyes. Speaking to me. Whispering into my mind. Commanding me to spill the blood of the innocent in the Aadslaghah, He who Dwells in the Pit at the End of All Worlds. You know, the usual.
Combat Wombat!
10 September 09:13 am Hand-in's feel so sweet. Sweet like chocolate, sweet like candy, yeah. Of course, although I may have done one of my vac. projects, the other is currently overdue and no decent plans have been developed to devote time to this. In fact I'm thinking of catching a movie today... I'm an only child!. My sister has left for Johannesburg as of this morning. When I get home I'm going to mope in despair for a few minutes (for traditions sake) and then I'm going to loot her room. Just like in D&D. She's already loaned me one of her tops (the incredibly kewl plastik one). She can't wear it anyway (too large). I score!
Any thoughts on a new gaming handle? Chronos has served me well, but I feel like something more frivolous. Current idea: CombatWombat?
9 September 02:10 am Why do I always seem to post at godforsaken hours? To be fair, this post isn't a content related one. It's very much an excuse from sitting at my computer programming for hours on end. And I mean hours. This should have gone a lot quicker and easier, but my project partner usefully failed to provide me with any of the code he was responsible for, thereby forcing me to pick up his slack. To be fair, he is providing most of the documentation, so I shouldn't bitch too much about him. On the other hand, I have managed to serialize most of my data. It's the unserialization this is causing trouble. I can probably get past without being able to read my own data (ah... the magical world of fudging).
I don't wanna go to UCT later today. I wanna sleeep!
8 September 04:23 am I am still a firm believer that a CLAWband? could rule the music world. Our unique blend of depression and loneliness would be a firm hit among the goth crowd. Listening to some or other arbitrary band at the Purple Turtle last night (tonight?) just confirmed this opinion. Admittedly, their background video was... interesting - but I'm confident we could do better. Although Grant left us, JD and I continued on after the PT towards Gandalfs. Of course, Gandalfs did not disappoint - there was much drinking to be done. Not to mention, admiring the general ambiance. For a Saturday during the vac. there was a decent turnout (even/especially from the CLAW bunch - no doubt a side effect of Cassandra's birthday). Oh yes, and the regulars (ie. Nadine, Greg, etc).
Of course, no post on clubbing would be complete without a things to remember
Things to remember while at a goth club
6 September 10:51 am Yes. Less than eight hours later, another post. You have to ask yourself... did I go to sleep? Or is this just some kind of masochistic ramblings after losing track of time? I'd like to say that the most disturbing thing right now is not my mental state or that of people around me. It's the fact that there are only 2 people logged on to casper right now. Two. Including me. What is it? Don't people have projects to do? Steve keeps telling me about the rabid hordes who sit coding all night. Apparently, come 10 'o clock they all fade. Wimps.
For the record, I would like to mention that eating spicy food, then going out and not getting enough sleep can be problematic. This morning, for example, my troubled digestion decided that it was time to pass along the food it had been having difficulty with. I believe that Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" kept playing over and over in my head.
I'm gonna go shopping soon. Gotta get a nice gift for my father (his birthday is on Saturday). More importantly, however, is the need for summer clothes. Well, summer shirts anyway (I don't feel like buying more pants). If only I'd brought my FHM collections along - I'd be able to see just what was in style. Not that anyone else cares. Fuckers.
6 September 03:23 am Continuing the general habit of posting at very late hours of the morning comes the (shut the fuck up JD?) afterparty post. I've just returned from an abortive night out. Buggerit. Top 5 items of the night:
I know what you're thinking. And you're right. All of you.
You know, the only good clubs in Cape Town are gay clubs. This place sucks. Well, it's a good thing we're all gay. No Gareth, don't write that. Gareth! No!
4 September 00:36 am Lord of the Rings! In blinding 5.1 surround sound! DVD! My children! And Ross! I think he might be Gay! Go Wildcats! So far, this holiday is rather dull. I certainly hope other people are doing more funky shit than me. Perhaps it's the threat of work hanging over me (not the work I'm doing, certainly). Or maybe I just don't feel like going to Claremont. Ever.
Oh yes. There is a page you HAVE to check out. http://www.casualkiss.com - now, I know what you are thinking, but trust me. Go to personals, search for South African male, 20 - 25 years old. Take good look. At Fuegan. Recognise him? You bastard.
By the way. Thunda.com. A crap and useless site, not to mention a drain on bandwidth in SA. However, it does need to be mentioned that it took me all of a second to "hack" the site. Erm. Something like that. I steadfastly refuse to subscribe to the site and get a proper username. Luckily though the old classic test:test worked perfectly. I mean, how fucking stupid do you have to be to actually leave that one in there? test test? God, am I the only person who creates secure test accounts? I mean, is Dogbertmyoverlord, password Godisinthecomputer that much more difficult?
Official message: More people must take the spark tests! Don't you realise that they cross-reference all the tests and generate interesting statistics? For example, there a minimum off 50% chance that I'll pull anyone I know while drunk. Most people are much higher. Worried? You should be. Next party, it could be you. So go check your safety at http://www.thespark.com - is ten minutes worth peace of mind? I think so. Remember to enter your e-mail address correctly (they don't spam) so that the system can link you with everyone else. Enter my e-mail address (divinedisciple@catholic.org) to correlate with my stats. Trust me. It's fun!
1 September 20:28 pm ::Yeah! 31 August 15:43 pm 31 August 2002 02:23 am ::Aside from this nasty surprise, my night out was completely uneventful (sigh). I ended up sitting at Late Edition for a couple of hours. I hate that place. And the rest of Claremont. But especially that place. All the plastic people with their plastic smiles and fake personalities. It's this disgusting parade of mindless clones - a horde of little ants subservient to their artificial gods of money and popularity. I can't begin to believe that they can pretend to have fulfilling lives. What is the problem here? Am I simply incompatible with these folk? If so, why? Am I too smart for them? Too different? Ideosyncratic? Or have I realised some fundamental truth about life which they not only haven't, but never will? Is it God or Religion or Drugs or Alcohol or Power or Class ::I say you are not your bank account. You are not the clothes you wear. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your bowel cancer. You are not your Grande Latte. You are not the car you drive. You are not your fucking khakis. You have to give up. You have to realize that someday you will die, until you know that you are useless. I say let me never be complete. I say may I never be content. I say deliver me from Swedish furniture! I say deliver me from clever art. I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth. I say you have to give up. I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may. excerpt from 'This Is Your Life' - Fight Club OST. ::Grow up and fucking think for yourselves.
31 August 2002 - 12:25 pm As much as I appreciate the tasteful art presented on this page, I felt it was my civil duty to present a little something for the ladies. Enjoy. * 
* Testocl�s, the Lesser Known Son of Zeus
Someone thought they could remove stuff from my page without me noticing. Don't they realise I pedantically check edit's and compare revisions? Hmm? Fools! I will crush them all! Aahahah! Let this stand as permanent testament to the filth these wrinkly old fools believe in! 30 August 2002 - 18:18 pm
::Well, all that aside, I'm at the people-calling-me-waiting-for-stuff-to-happen part of the evening where I get told what I'm doing tonight. Looks to be either a R40 all you can drink or another regular night at Gandalf's.
29 August 2002 - 22:05 pm :: I've added a Contents page to the wiki. It remains to be seen whether anyone else will use it, but the thought is there. I've done this in response to some people commenting that the wiki currently lacks any decent index, and while the recent changes page is useful to find out what's new, it is no excuse for a lack of an index (don't tell me that AllPages? is a decent index... with only 149 pages it is still too large to reasonably use to search for funky shit). CLAWs is too full of random crap to bother using... and no, I don't feel important enough to strip it down to something useable. Look at the word enough. Now stare at it. Notice anything wrong? Think... just how do I pronounce gh. f!?! If the word was pronounced E-nou-G-he it would make sense... but a fucking soft f? English will never make sense to me. ::I am a firm believer that someones taste in music is a telling indication of what kind of person they are, deep down inside. Let's face it... if you like Britney Spears as a serious artist ("I mean, like, her lyrics, like, really say something, you know? It's like, she's, like, talking to me.") you probably won't be hanging around CLAWs on a regular basis. The people just don't match. I appreciate t |
