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TheTome /
BrendansAdmirerYou are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. For those who wonder, previous to reading this, it is a requirement that you are familiar with ColdChamber. The format to that text was similar, but will never be exact for it would require the same author. This it does not have.
I am Brendan's Provoked Thoughts ---- 25/03/2003 - 13h50I am not the one who writes the thoughts. I am the one who reacts. I am not him. I am simply me. Anything he says does not reflect my mood or ideas. In the same way what I react has nothing to do with him, except for the fact that I am created by that which resides within him. I am Brendan's Sleepless Night ---- 24/03/2003 - 22h45Does it scare you to know there is somebody who needs you? But will never claim you. I am Brendan's Untouchable ---- 25/03/2003 - 10h55Cold. On the outside. The new winter air, tempted by the touch of the sun... Warmth. Passion, untouchable and pure... The only problem with balance is that you live your life in parallel. I am Brendan’s Opposite Endings ---- 01/04/2003 - 09h00This is no April Fool - fool... You know me. I spend every day with you all. And you all choose to read this. Your curiosity has gotten the best of you and now it requires an ending... What was meant to be shared has become an obsession. Something it was never meant to be, but I underestimate the ones I know it seems. I take no moral high-ground. I am who I am. Take what you want from this. I ask nothing from anyone. Hate me, misunderstand me, love me, understand me. The world is full of its own opposites... Admirer was the wrong word. I do not 'admire' him. Neither do I know him. Perhaps sometimes I pretend to understand him? But that is hypocritical. Why try to understand someone else when you don't even understand yourself? So this was all it was meant to be. Thoughts created from the Other Side, because I find something in it that means something to me. Ambiguous? Now that I read back on what was written I can see the two sides it could've taken. It was never meant to be obsessive, or strange, or anything really... Just a reaction. Perhaps that in itself is pathetic? Do I ask for understanding? In a way yes. Does it bother me if you don't understand? No. That would be your choice and I have no sway over it. Talk to me. Ask me. But all I ask is that you don't make it common. Don't destroy, yet again, what was something to me. But perhaps that is asking too much, since it was my fault in making this public. Know that I made my choice a month ago. What people see doesn't matter. It's the truth that only three people are required to know that matters. And they do know it. I will not back away from the decision I had to face, but that doesn't mean I have to back away from life as well. If there is someone I connect to on any level - what right does someone else have to take that away from me? I will fight for my decision if necessary. I may be indecisive about most things, but not about those things that matter. And more than I even think I realise, this matters… There is only one other thing you need to know from me. I did not lie. Selective deception. No betrayal from the one you know, and the one you do not know cannot betray you. "I'll let the / Darkness cover me / Deny everything / Slowly walk away / To breathe again / On my own" Disturbed "Darkness" It's so hard to be depressed when it makes you happy. |