AShortStoryToKeepYouEntertainedYou are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. Hi. I realse certain people are dissapointed in the end of my compelling tale of the life of an unamazing amoeba but I don't really care. But I'm going to say I do so that I have an excuce to pitty you and share with you some propper literature. Here's a story I wrote a while back. BEGINNING AND CONCLUSION OF A SHORT WAREvery few years (well, not every few years) the human race produces a maniac obsessed with taking over pretty much everything. Robert 291A was long overdue. For more than two thousand years (in corresponding Earth time) humanity had been too busy colonising a plethora of new systems to really worry about warfare. Anyway, it was impractical with the vast distances between the colony worlds, wasn't it? Even after the Smith Type IV Engine had made the journey possible in years instead of millenia, it was barely even possible to establish trade. Shortly after Robert 291A's inauguration (I won't go into his "election" here), however, a newly-built fleet sporting Smith Type V Engines arrived in Alpha System. Earth had always been very free with technology it developed, as long as the colonies reciprocated in kind. As it was, the Smith Type V was the crucial key to Robert's plan. It made the interstellar journed possible in only weeks. Within an amazingly short time a fleet was constructed to carry a cargo that had not even been considinered in generations: nuclear weapons. Robert cackled gleefully to himself on numerous occasions preceding the launch of the new fleet. His second-in-command took a bit of convincing (and was still struck with doubt whenever he heard an eerie laugh coming from Robert's office) but the accountants were thrilled with by the idea. The plan was simple enough: The fleet would travel to each colony in turn, threatening to blow them to itsy-bitsy little pieces unless they agreed to submit to the rule of Alpha System. The accountants thought it was great. The risk was low as the colonies had few defences, the interstellar space, and later habit, leading to a mostly peaceful civilisation. And the return was likely to be very high. The population also liked the idea, mostly because of propaganda, but also because Alpha System's planets were rather inhospitible and, most of all, the superiority complex that the inhabitanst of Home System had was really annoying. Thousands of young men and women who did not much like the idea of becoming slug farmers or cultivating potato/pineapple/rabbit hybrids joined the newly formed Alpha System Defence Force (ironic name, isn't it?).Soon everything was readdy. The fleet was in orbit and waiting only for Robert's word to depart for Home System. There was just one thing they hadn't planned on. Well two, actually.
Robert 291A died suddenly of a heart attack as he was about give the order for the invasion to commence. They should have taken it as a sign, but they didn't. The second thing that they didn't expect was that Earth was prepared for their attack. Their hastily prepared fleet was never designed to face any real resistance and they didn't. The admiral pushed the red button marked "SD" and entered the secret code as soon as he saw their impending doom. What else could SD stand for besides "surrender" anyway?
I wonder what Robert thinks about how it all turned out. Well, I can find out since I'm the omniscient third person narrator. When I tracked him down in the afterlife (no, I'm not going to spoil the surprise, you'll just have to wait and find out for yourself) he had this to sey, "It just isn't fair. Those pompous fools should have got what was coming to them. And I wanted to be rich and powerful. It turned out that the Earthlings had spies spying on us all along. We should have expected it. Why couldn't the plan have worked? Would have wiped that smug grin off their faces. Always with the stupid... mumble, mumble. And definetly too many stars on their flag. Grrr." After declaring themselves heroes the people of Earth flexed their military muscles so that the other colonies would be more "grateful" to them.
There's a lesson in there somewhere.I'd apreaciate any feedback you might like to give. I don't really have anything elsse to say, except to remind you to bring superglue for the creation of the SUPER-CLAWtable?. And a sign would probably help too. Bye. Comment: Amusing... (by OOPMan on 2005-04-26 08:50:03)Like it says. S'more please... |