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TheTome /
TheMindlessDrivelofMaritaandChrisYou are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. Marita: In the beginning, there was an oyster Chris: oyster (carry on the storyt pwease teacha!) Marita: A P.I. oyster Who lived at the bottom of the sea A magical land of hope and wonder That also had bad people in it And it was P.I. oyster's job to make sure that the bad people were punished Chris: i was going for Proportional Integral oyster but now I see the error of my ways Marita: You've been doing too much engineering Chris: so what did PI Oyster do to them? Marita: You continue the story Chris: P.I. oyster had a secret crime-fighting identity Marita: Oooh Chris: by night he was a mild-mannered oyster with a trenchcoat and hat, a registered gun license and some lemon juice and Super Salty Soya Spray in case of run-ins with the local gang, the Sea Slug Slags but by day he studied engineering and sang opera at the local Hostpital for Accidental Castrations Marita: Wow Lol Chris: his secret identity wasnt very exciting but it got him through the day and he got to spend time with the love of his love and his secret crush, Lola the Lovely, a giant squid from down under tag Marita: Who was an opera singer, who although she was a real prima donna, sang at the hospital every now and again. Mostly for good publicity She always spoke with an italian accent, because she felt it was more true to the tradition of opera She was also rumoured to be a hermaphrodite, but PI didn't believe any of those rumours He desperately tried to whoo her, but she was convinced that he was one of the patients at the hospital Okay, i'm going to become crude. tag Chris: PI had ignored the rumours for a long time now, too long indeed for doubt had begun to wiggle into his shell. It was a slow, painfull process for doubt but well worth it in the end. Did it even matter that she was? All he wanted was to feel her suckers on his shell, coaxing him to eject a beautful white pearl. Lola wasn't the brightest angelfish 2000m under the sea...she didnt even realize that oysters couldnt be accidentally castrated so why would he be in the hospital? Marita: Hehe Chris: But he was a great friend, an exellent listener, a true gentleman, never looking at her suckers and only at her eye, either of them them. he wasnt she moast outgoing oyster ever but there was a certain steadfastness with being attached to a rock that made lola feel secure and safe the big parrot beak on the side of her face also made her feel safe but for other reasons... tag Marita: So PI oyster tried to think of some way to both convince Lola that he isn't an accidental castration victim, and find out her true gender He thought and thought for days on end When it came to him Why doesn't he try to convince her to go to a nude beach with him? tag Chris: O.o Marita: I had to stop myself Calling Marita de Waal at 4:00 PM on Thursday Call ended with Marita de Waal at 4:00 PM on Thursday Chris: it took him nearly 2 weeks to gather up the courage to ask her to the beach, feigning an "outing with friends" as the reason. since neither of them had any other friends he thought it the best idea ever. he didnt account for the fafce that Lola knew that neither of them had friends but thankfully a passing shoal of fish distracted her and she totally forgot about that and accepted his offer. the day was finally here! it was a wednesday adn they both had off from engineering and singing duties. Donning his new pair of board shorts (made from drift wood) he got onto his crab and set off to Lola's cave to pick her up. This was it, he would finally know what sex she was... tag Marita: Having collected Lola they set off for the beach... PI's heart pounding in his throat the whole way And finaly they reach the shallows And his trusty crab steed carries them onto dry sand Marita: And he is blinded by the sun and the terrible sight of pink fleshy creatures He turns to Lola to see her starting to dessicate Scrambling frantically back to sea He tries to turn his steed around, when he hears... "Ah! Two fol one!" And is slurped down by a Chinese dude The end |