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TheTome /
SchpatOhEightYou are on the archive wiki. The new wiki is here. Trek humor; From the Home Office in my parent's basement... 10) One of the dealers is chopping the heads off action figures and selling them as "Special Decapitation Series Available Only At This Convention" 9) The "Leeta Inflatable Doll" you just paid $62.50 for doesn't look anything like Chase Masterson 8) Wil Wheaton is in the parking lot trading autographs for Egg McMuffins? 7) The only Star Trek celebrity nude photos you can find are of Ethan Phillips 6) The advertised "Starfleet Shuttle 'Galileo' Display" looks an awful lot like a white Lumina minivan 5) Closest thing to a member of the Star Trek production staff that would appear is the guy who trims Brannon Braga's nose hairs 4) Local television news reporters keep asking "Where the hell is Chewbacca?!?" 3) Trivia Contest winner doesn't even know what the "T" stands for 2) Not even Jimmy Doohan would show up And the Number One sign you're at a bad Star Trek Convention... 1) All the costumes in the Costume Contest are from Babylon 5 the TOP TEN T-shirts worn by members of the Enterprise crew 10) (Wesley) Starfleet Academy Funnel Team 9) (Riker) Play Jazz Naked 8) (Worf) Klingons do NOT wear funny T-shirts! 7) (Picard) Make it so! 6) (O'Brien) Beam THIS up! 5) (Data) Cochrane's equations 4) (Wesley) Hard Rock Cafe - Tau Ceti 3) (Geordi) Wanna see my dilithium crystals? 2) (Riker) My Captain got assimilated by the Borg, and all I got was 1) (Picard) Starship Captains do it at warp speed! Top Ten proposed catch phrases for Seven Of Nine 10) "Hello, my eyes are up here!...Hell-LO!?!" 9) "Why, yes, they are fully integrated components...and thanks for noticing!" 8) "From The Mountains!...To The Valleys!..." 7) "Bringing new meaning to the term 'unzipping program'..." 6) "So r-r-round, so fir-r-rm, so fully-packed!" 5) "Hit 'em with both barrels!" 4) "Must...maintain...BALANCE!....Must not...tip...OVER!..." 3) "Seven Of Nine- The only Star Trek character ever to receive the full endorsement of both Beavis AND Butt-Head!" 2) "Thanks for the mammaries!" And the Number One proposed catch phrase for Seven Of Nine... 1) "Star Trek: Voyager- Serving The Male Teen Demographic Since 1995!" It is I, schpat Schpat In Korea 10 April 2004 Anyway, so I had to go to Korea, if you don't know that yet then either you don't spend much time online or you just don't listen to what people tell you. International flying is the BOMB, I'm actually writting this by hind on the plane and I'll type it up later. Being on the plane I'd better not let anybody see that I'm writing about explosive devices ;). It's 4:26 AM in Hong Kong, they have this cool flight software, but I only get there in 7 hours time. The have movies, so many movies, on touch screen plasma screens. The movies available to me are: Big Fish, Paycheck, Mona Lisa Smile, Mystic River, Catch that Kid, Kill Bill, The Missing, The Human Stain, Love Actually, The Last Samurai, Somethings Gota Give, Shattered Glass, Jungle Book 2, Tars Toi and Sylvia. God, that's a lot of choices. Anyway, so I decided to watch Shattered Glass first, it was cool, a bit slow, but really well acted, unless Christen Haidensen is just actually angsty. Then I watched Kill Bill, man what an awesome flick. It roxxored, must see part 2 NOW. Then I went and chatted to the flight attendant for a bit and he offered me some Cup Noodle. My god this is the best Cup Noodle I've ever had, it's actually better than some of the noodles I've had at chinees resturants. It has veggies and eggs and what must be dehydrated pork chunks, but man it's good. I'm gonna see if I can get some to take home. <<< 08:45 Saturday SA time. (I've typed this thing out once already but it didn't save) Leave home to get to CPT INT and pick up my tickets to fly on BA to JHB INT. Now I normally fly in SAA, so imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to find that BA planes have much more leg room. I played Advance Wars for the full 2 hour flight and we arrived slightly ahead of schedule. 13:10 Saturday SA Time I picked up my luggage and lugged it over to the Cathay Pacific office to pick up my ticket to Hong Kong and on to Seoul. That's when the dude behind the counter tells e my ticket has been cancelled. I tryed to phone the lady who organised the trip for me but I couldn't get hold of her. But by then the dude tells me that there is another ticket in my name that has already been issued, ie printed, and should be somewhere in the office waiting for me to pick it up, but he can't find it. <Interruption> the oriental guy across from me is trying to show me how to eat my cup noodle with my chopsticks, and I can't explain to him that I know how because he doesn't speak a work of english. But he seems like I nice guy so I humor him. </Interuption> About half an hour later the dude decides that the best thing to do is restore the cancelled ticket and then issue it, but this need special aproval from mnagement, and I still needed to but forex,. and you need an overseas ticket to buy forex. Eventually got my ticket and went to get the forex that the customer had organised for me. That took like half an hour because of the id check and ticket conformation. Then I wanted to buy some forex for myself but the cleck told me that they don't take credit cards and that I should go draw some money from the bsnk. Now the ABSA bank is just accorss thr plaze and up one level, I can see it from the forex desk, but I just couldn't get there, JHB INT is built sooo badly, the esculatord go up two floors and when I find one that goes up only one floor there is no access to the bank. Now it's getting pretty late so I deciee to check in and get a good seat. I finally get to ABSA where I find out that I can buy forex there on my credit card, but that the ioo GBP that my aunt gave me when I graduated is unchangeable because the Bank of England withdrew those 20 pound notes in 2001, I decide to try again in Korea. 15:58 Saturday SA time So I have my ticket, I got forex, I checked in and got more forex, but the plane boards at 16:25. I'm so stressed because I've barely made it, but I still have time to check out the Duty Free Electronics Store. They have only overpriced Crap: 64 MB MP3? Players for R1000, and Game Boy Advance for R1300. Some digi-cams are decently priced, but the Ipaq is a steal at R2900. But all round the Duty free in SA sucks. 16:25 Saturday SA time So I got on the plane and, well, you know the rest. 05:08 Sunday Hong Kong Time I am presently half wy between the Seycelles and the Maldives, the outside air temp is -48 C, the ground speed is 893 kph and I land in 6 hrs 48 min. Did I mention the funky flight tracking Software? 11:15 Sunday Hong Kong Time Long distance flying sucks! My legs and butt hurt. I watched the last Samurai and started watching Paycheck but then fell asleep. I wana get off this damn aircraft. Unfortunatly 'schpat' is not a wiki word so I had to add the other crap. A fresh new noddy badge to anybody who can tell me why. That being said I have decided to cave in to peer pressure and start my own wiki page. I have decided that the wiki is an invaluble form of comunication for me as, as some of you know, I am working in Richards Bay (I'm sure to complain about this later). Although I try to hang arround on IrC? as much as possible I still don't get to find out what's been going on with most of my friends, for this the wiki is useful. It makes me feel like I'm still in the loop. I also assume that folks what to be kept in the loop with regards to things happening in my life. I plan on running SchpatCON? again in December, I will need to strong-arm some people into helping me, soon. I plan on running two or three modules and a larp. Also I plan on getting uber sponsorship. Keep checking the SchpatCON? page for details. Anyway, work sucks and the temprature differential between Richards Bay and Cape Town was 24 deg yesterday. Gotta go now, I'll keep you firmlly updated. |