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My Munchkin Rant
Some history: It all started with this email:
Date: Fri Jan 16, 2004 10:09 am
Subject: any players in tacoma?
> hey all my wife relly like the game and have all three and will be
> expanding with the two other versions but the problem is we only
> play with our ten year old he's good but we would like adult
> conversation to go along with the fun and the cheating...er i mean
> the honest play but have yet to find any even the guy who plays
> warhammer at work dosen't play so if anyone lives in tha tacoma area
> i.e. parkland spanaway lakea wood or fife and would like to play we
> are in our late twenties and would love to get a game going
> thanks J.R.
Someone answered with:
Date: Fri Jan 16, 2004 10:25 am
Subject: Re: ~Munchkin_guild? any players in tacoma?
> One word; PUNCTUATION! Look it up.
To which he replied:
Date: Fri Jan 16, 2004 10:59 am
Subject: punctuation??
> Well if you want punctuation i'm sorry. As you see i'm a little
> tiered seeing as i; oh sorry the scholars want me to do this I just
> got home frome work. I came on to this site to find freindship and
> fun do to a kick ass game. Instead I'm made to feel like an idiot.
> And the to morons who responded did not even answer my question. So
> if you want to start off by being a couple of bullies go ahead I'm
> sure there are other, nicer people in the group that will help.
Then someone else said:
Date: Fri Jan 16, 2004 11:20 am
Subject: ~OT? re: punctuation??
> > And the to morons who responded did not even answer my question.
> 1) The word you are looking for is "two".
> 2) As far as "two" goes, whether you felt stupid is not my fault -- I was
> about as polite as you'll ever catch me. If you feel stupid, perhaps you
> should look at the reason why: given the poor display of intelligence in
> your first post, I can't see as to how we might come to any other
> conclusion. Wanna be treated intelligently? Make an effort to show us
> that you are.
> 3) What question? Questions normally have a question mark to indicate
> their presence. Otherwise, it's just a statement. Oh, but you didn't use
> any punctuation, did you.
> 4) Assuming that the question you refer to was the subject of your message
> (as opposed to the message body, where one would normally put pertinent
> material -- see the subject line is supposed to tell you what the message
> is about. It is not intended to be the message itself), how can either of
> us answer it? We could say "yes" definitively if either of us lived in
> that area. If we don't -- and neither of us do -- then we cannot, nor can
> we definitively answer with a "no" either, as we don't know THAT for sure.
> 5) If you really are in your late twenties, then you've taken a number of
> English courses and also aren't exactly a newcomer to the concept of
> writing as communication (unless you were raised by timber wolves or
> something). Where in all that did you come to the conclusion that a solid
> block of text without capitalization, punctuation, or paragraph breaks is
> acceptable writing?
> 6) Also, if you really are in your late twenties, get a spine, will ya? If
> two complete strangers saying "nah-nee-nah-nee-boo-boo" gets you all hot
> under the collar, maybe you should seek a new therapist.
> > I'm sure there are other, nicer people in the group
> Yeah, but they never post.
> Kendel
Which made the first guy cry out and ask:
Date: Sat Jan 17, 2004 11:34 am
Subject: why all the hate
> I'm so very sorry to have offended the ppl. (thats short for people)
> of the group. Please, please, please forgive me kind sirs. I mean to
> offend such worthy ppl. as Kendal and T.S. brings shame to my family
> and freinds. But one would be remiss if one did not ask "why"? Why
> is it so important to them to put ppl. down is it there own
> shortcommings? I mean look at Kendel profile the pick says it all
> and that is I have no life come man get a new outfit. Is your name
> relly Ken-Doll the little unik that Barbie uses? T.S. do you hear
> that alot? As in Tough Shit dude whenever you ask someone out at the
> bar and what kind of bar? My guess is it's one where the don't serve
> alchole (thats a big person drink) but I digress. I came here to
> appologize not slam we'll leave that to another group; However if
> you wish to continue it hear I'm game.
> p.s. I wish I was raised by the T.V. ohh wate I was.
> J.R. and that stands for Jerrold Ralph
Which made me reply with:
Date: Sat Jan 17, 2004 7:03 pm
Subject: RE: ~Munchkin_guild? why all the hate
> Greetings
> You ask "why all the hate" (a question mark at the end of the sentence
> would not have been remiss). I think I have a possible reason. Now,
> please understand that what I am about to say is merely my own
> conjecture, and is no way to be taken as the gospel truth.
> Most of the people in this guild, as well as being Munchkin players, are
> Roleplayers. And, as roleplayers, we pride ourselves on being
> intelligent, creative, well-read, articulate and well educated. And
> since language plays such a big and important role in our games, it is
> highly important to us. Now, I am a South African. English is my first
> language, and I did quite well in it when I was at school (many eaons
> ago). I pride myself on the fact that even in this day and age of SMS
> and IRC net-speak, I still type out all my words and sentences in full,
> and in a clear and concise way. Or, at least, I try to. I make the
> effort to make myself understood. Because, to be honest, sometimes when
> people use the slang of modern communication, they are not being clear.
> And when you start to take out the punctuation as well... Well, it just
> makes reading what you have to say a chore.
> So let's go through your message below, as if I were an English teacher,
> and show you where you could have tried a little harder to be
> understood.
> > I'm so very sorry to have offended the ppl. (thats short for people)
> Not much wrong there, as you do the courtesy of explaining your
> abbreviation.
> > of the group. Please, please, please forgive me kind sirs. I mean to
> But now you mess it up a bit by continuing the sentence after you had
> stopped it a line above with your first period (we call them "full
> stops", by the way).
> > offend such worthy ppl. as Kendal and T.S. brings shame to my family
> So does spelling a man's name incorrectly. At least give him the
> resepect to get his name correct.
> > and freinds. But one would be remiss if one did not ask "why"? Why
> Simple spell checker before you send and "freinds" becomes "friends"
> (hell, I just had to go and rewrite the misspelled word as my mail
> program automatically corrected it for me).
> > is it so important to them to put ppl. down is it there own
> Yeah... Abbreviations do not need a period. It breaks up your sentence
> for no good reason and ruins your train of thought. The point behind a
> period is that it tells the reader that one idea has ended and a new one
> has begun.
> Also, be watchful of the difference between "there" and "their". One is
> a direction, the other is a genitive plural demonstrative & personal
> pronoun.
> > shortcommings? I mean look at Kendel profile the pick says it all
> Once again a simple spell check would correct "shortcommings" to
> "shortcomings" and look less like a surname of a bad porno star. Also,
> if you are going to save yourself 3 key strokes to shorten the word
> "picture", do no add the unneccessary "k". "pic" is the universally
> recognised shortening of the word "picture". "Pick" is a farming and/or
> road construction tool, and has no bearing on the conversation.
> > and that is I have no life come man get a new outfit. Is your name
> OK... Not too sure what you mean to say here. I feel you needed a period
> in there somewhere, possiblely between life and come. So the sentence
> probably should look like: "... and that is 'I have no life'. Come (on)
> man, get a new outfit."
> > relly Ken-Doll the little unik that Barbie uses? T.S. do you hear
> "relly" should be "really"... You really should be able to get that one
> right. "Unik" is a little tougher, but a simple look on any dictionery
> site should get you the correct spelling of "eunuch". On www.m-w.com
> when I did a look up for "unik", "eunuch" was the third suggestion.
> But the insult had promise. It took me a while to catch on that you were
> using the similar sounds of "Kendel" and "Ken-Doll" to power your
> insult. Possibly because I was fixated on the terrible spelling of
> "eunuch" and that took up my concentration... perhaps that just goes to
> show how important correct spelling can be...
> > that alot? As in Tough Shit dude whenever you ask someone out at the
> T. S. = Tough Shit. Good one. I do believe you scored a hit. A little
> playgroundy, 1st-gradish hit... But a hit none-the-less. Perhaps next
> time, you should start using a few more SAT words like "Terminally
> Stupid", "Tacitly Simple" or perhaps even "Thouroughly Slow-witted". It
> is an easy way to just become vulgar. To truly insult, one must rise
> above vulgarity, and embrace one's language of choice and all it's
> nuances and delve deep into one's vocabulary and become creative. Also,
> you did need to punctuate it better, to bring it home.
> Would you not agree that "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your
> armpits, and the armpits of your decendants from now until Armageddon"
> is a much better insult then "Screw you, pal"?
> > bar and what kind of bar? My guess is it's one where the don't serve
> Now you are trying to take the insult too far, to places where it is not
> as effective. Why restrict the insult to just assuming that he can not
> pick women up "in bars"? Why not let it stand and let it say that he
> could never pick up any women anywhere. Once you bring in the "in bars"
> statement, he could always try the retort "Yeah, I tried to pick up your
> mother in a bar... Apparently, I could not afford her". Personally, I
> try to vie away from bring people's mothers into conversation and insult
> matches. Guys seem to lose the fact that I am trying to entertain them
> with my insults and tend to focus in on the fact that I just insulted
> some-one near and dear to them. And once, I was actually right on the
> money, and the guy just started crying in front of me because he
> actually believed that what I had said was true, and that I really knew
> his mother... And no-one ever wants to see a grown man cry.
> > alchole (thats a big person drink) but I digress. I came here to
> And "alcohol" is a big person word. Did you see how I used your words
> and the irony of your comment against you? Would not have happened if
> you had just spell checked your message before sending it. When you are
> in an insult match, a battle of wits, do not give your opponent
> ammunition for free. Make him work hard to turn your words against you.
> > appologize not slam we'll leave that to another group; However if
> > you wish to continue it hear I'm game.
> Sorry, I can't "hear" anything, as I am reading this silently in my
> head. Of course, if you meant to say "However, if you wish to continue
> it HERE, I'm game." that is a different story.
> > p.s. I wish I was raised by the T.V. ohh wate I was.
> Um... "P.S." normally comes after your sign-off or signature. It
> actually stands for Post Script, from the Latin, neuter of postscriptus,
> past participle of postscribere to write after, from post- + scribere to
> write... It basically means a note or series of notes appended to a
> completed letter, article, or book.
> Also, what points were you hoping to score with this statement? I fail
> to see how it could be construed as a "good thing". Perhaps this is a
> cultural thing, but here in South Africa parent's strive to raise their
> children, to imbue them with the same morals and integrity that they
> themselves possess. The television, while not being totally bereft of a
> decent moral and ethical code, is hardly a good "nanny" for
> impressionable youth. I would suggest broadening your horizons and try a
> library for a change. The access to literature might help improve your
> vocabulary and your syntax. It might also help to stir the dark recesses
> of your pysche and bring forth a new era of creativity to your life.
> What ever the case, an hour spent reading is an hour well spent.
> > J.R. and that stands for Jerrold Ralph
> At least here you cut off at the pass any attempt we might have at
> making sport of your initials, so that comments like "Junior Retard",
> "Just Released" or "Jackson Roommate" can not be made. Well done, that
> was brilliantly done.
> Now... If you are reading this and are completely infuriated, angry,
> livid, irate or, to use the vernacular, "pissed off", then you have
> failed to understand my reasons for this post. I am not insulting you. I
> am offering you a possible reason for some of the less then kind
> messages you have received, and some tips for your further emails on
> Munchkin Guild Flames. To be honest, I never read your initial post (it
> was just a random block of text, and it looked way too hard to read and
> make sense of). And I am only writing this post to flex my mental
> muscles and see if my talent at insulting was still superior. You be the
> judge.
> We all love a good battle of wits, but not against an opponent who is
> unarmed.
> Anyway... Please return to your previously scheduled programme
Well... it made me feel better....
