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ClosedCasket

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bah, 5th january, anno 2004

fucking jo'burg.

hardly the lost diaries.8th october, anno 2003

so i've been doing a lot of work in 3d lately, resulting in exponentially more renderlimbo to wile away. today, this was achieved by doodling, and one resultant grotesquery bore a striking(ly amusing) resemblance to SynKronos. were he buff and hairy, that is. anyway, i was going simply to post that, but decided to rather spoof you all properly. and where better to start? ;)

arr

if garrick were a pirate, he would definitely be lechuck. which is funnier when you consider that albert bears a striking resemblance to guybrush.

for some reason, this makes me bilious.25th september, anno 2003

http://196.38.198.44/stuff/blah.jpg
is this duncan's kitchen? no, it isn't. the layout is similar but the furniture is totally different. No comment on the company -ToothpasteDealer

the reign of flesh, second coming.19th september, anno 2003

i need a new flatmate. i'm tired of being woken in the night by the germans screwing loudly. at least, i suspect it's the germans. the alternative - that it's jacques stumbling in drunk and lonely, firing up some pr0n and proceeding to vex himself to orgasm - is too hideous to comtemplate. i suppose i should be grateful that whoever is responsible is, at the very least, brief. unfortunately, women don't really make that ridiculous noise (yes, that one) in reality, do they? so it's probably that sweaty ogre then. oh puke.

beyond that, i like the kovenant. so http://196.38.198.44/stuff/kovenant_mannequin.mp3|should] you

"good is dumb." clearly.18th september, anno 2003

the best thing about pretoria is the freeway leading away from it. this i've now had confirmed by the city tourism authority with whom i spoke yesterday evening. desperately searching for something other than jacaranda and easy women to use in promotion of the city, i was told that "hatfield (rosebank, with more garbage, physical and metaphorical) and menlyn (y'know that hypermarket out in goodwood? imagine it at ten-times the scale) are very cool". when pressed further, he cracked and confessed that although he had lived here all his life, he despised the place and hoped that learning to speak english was his ticket "out of here".

alright, so i made up that bit. about speaking english.

anyway. what i really have on my mind is god. more specifically, his rather glaring error in the male design. picture the scene: god in his workshop creates gender and proceeds to kludge together an efficiently functional, if not stunningly desirable, method of procreation. presently spent and whimsical as ever, he wanders off and arranges a diorama of pressed stars or similar. returning sometime later to our nascent adam and eve, it dawns on him that it's going to require considerable strength to simultaneously keep pace with a deer and bludgeon it between the eyes with a big rock. so he invents muscles. and installs them into the model that's already got the rampant sex drive. pleased with himself, he meanders off to create something else. dolphins, no doubt.

well done, lord. bravo.

the reign of flesh.sicksteenth september, anno 2003

i think the two most vulgar things i've ever heard have, in this order, been:

1. "you're making me drip like a perculator."
   • a singularly classy opening gambit.
2. "if it's old enough to bleed, it's old enough to breed."
   • the pixel.pusher that sits near me, defending (?) the grotesquery of a senior programmer dating a 15 year old. likely to be a lot of conversation in that relationship. still, she's from pretoria, and they're all like that up here. odious little backwater.

i'm too bashful to relate how all this came up, but the point here is that women being crude is simply Not On (although, hearing tarryn describe someone as an entire shoal of cunts seems only appropriate).

the unlightable beingness of bearing.12th september, anno 2003

all men are filthy pigs, as are most women.

at an unrelated yet similarly seething tangent, here's desktop poe.try, malefic edition.

the misfortune was mine.25th august, anno 2003

quickly then.

very impressive appending an 'e' to my nick. very witty indeed. for a trepanned lemur that is. furthermore, beyond underscoring (and frankly, bludegeoning) a pun i'd already made, all you've done is advertise your ignorance further. added to your abominable spelling and grammatical errors, and your crimes against the language are fast becoming horrors of lovecraftian proportion. furthermore, if you're going to play the intellectual thug card, it helps to actually be an intellectual. you didn't make the dean's list last year, and you're unlikely to this year by the look of things. good luck with maths.

ask garrick about the birthcry.20th august, anno 2003

i stumbled across ShadowBoy's rants recently. whose misfortune this is remains to be seen. what is apparent, however, is that he's an idiot.

that aside, someone mentioned a wiki eight-ball recently and as our connection was down for a while yesterday i whipped one up. turns out it can't be plugged into these pages, so find it here.

johannesburg continues to be a festering sore. the wiki continues to be slow and crap.