The opinions expressed are those of the author, but seeing as she's female, you'd better pay attention because by tomorrow they will all be changed.
If you desperately feel the need to comment on or query my views please feel free.
Med School
Yup, little old me stuck out at Med Campus with absolutely no Bob's psyches to render into a consistancy resembling cream cheese *sigh. Hopefully someone feels my pain.
- Having said this - Med Campus does have the advantage of legions of poor, defenceless med students who are an amazing hybrid between commerce and science students. The fools in charge of their education have however supplied me with a Bob substitute in the form of said medics :) Yup, I'm a tutor - the possibilities are limitless .....
- The word "legions" above could probably be replaced with the more apt "herds". I say this because the people who will one day be holding your very life essence in their horribly overpriced hands have a surprising lack of any self preservation instinct. The scenario: a car (complete with appropriate revving engine noises and blaring hi-fi) pulls up behind a group of slow moving, designer clad students. Do they (a) get the fuck out of the way immediately, (b) carry on obliviously or (c) turn around after 5 minutes of patient finger tapping on your behalf and then shriek and dodge both ways around your vehicle. Ten points to those who chose option (c). AAAAARRRGGH. I suppose the bonus is, that if you do accidentally nudge one with your bumper the rest can take him to the hospital while you choose a shady parking space or leap into action and supplement their cadaver work with the real thing.
Pool
- As a female who enjoys a good game of pool and whose ability varies somewhere between chaos and skill (well placed luck) I find it infinitely amusing when guys walk up to a table to challenge and expect an easy game owing to a complete lack of Y chromosomes at said table. I will agree that males in general are the better pool players - as the game has everything to do with thrust (or so I was informed recently). Along this line, it gives me great pleasure to know women like Kim, Barbara and MoonFlake who have been known to send men running to check on their thrust in a dark corner somewhere. It is a very gratifying experience to walk into a pool bar with one's own pool cue and watch the underage pondscum (See ZenStarRants for an excellent summary) give you a very wide bearth.
- Why can your skill never remain hovering around a constant base level ? When you first learn how to play pool long shots are the easiest things because they involve straight lines. Then, as you progress long shots become things that you don't mention in polite company and angles are where it's at. I have now reached that point where nothing works at the same time. What is this strange word "angles" of which you speak ? There is also a direct correlation between how many strangers are watching you and how far away your skill flees. Also, the second someone challenges for the table you can kiss goodbye to the fantastic form you've been in for the last three hours. AAAARRRGHH !
Wisdom Teeth
- Just one question: WHY? It would make sense for all of our teeth to burst through our gums when we're too young to remember the pain, wouldn't it? You'd think that whoever designed the engineering wonder that is the human body would have thought about it. And if not, then at least make sure that they all come out goddamn'd straight and in one piece !!!!! -- totally with you on this. see my dolphins rant. -- While I sit and contemplate this question and calculate how far away I am from the recommended yearly allowance of Myprodol(tm) I wonder where the fourth of my inappropriately named wisdom teeth has ponced off to. Having been informed that I only have three, it leads me to believe that the fourth must be up to no good somewhere..... The three who did bother to show up have taken there sweet time about it too - started burrowing through seven years ago and apparently thought better of it. They chose random times to do a bit of reconoitering (sp?) and having assessed the weakness of their host they have launched full scale war. So, did the fourth get lost, did it stop for an extended lunch break ? Hmmmmmm ......
TV Continuity Presenters
- It is unnatural for people to be able to talk while simultaneously showing that many pearly white teeth.
- It fascinates me that whatever language they speak bears a very close resemblance to english, but never actually quite makes it there.
- Do they have no say in their wardrobe? And if they do - it makes it worse in some way, doesn't it?
Murder She Wrote
- A long standing theory of mine is that Angela Lansbury is in fact an evil, yet ingenious serial killer. I don't know about you, but I'd never invite that woman on holiday with me or into my home for a party. Chances are high that within the first 24 hours, at least one of your guests will have been shuffled loose this mortal coil - of course, hoping that you will not be it. But not a problem, because the intrepid old bat investigator is there and within a matter of days has succeeded in obtaining a confession from the "murderer". Am I the only one who gets suspicious when she's allowed to be left alone with the suspect to interrogate them and that when the cops return the person's singing like a canary? My theory is that she employs hypnosis or a happy cocktail of drugs to brainwash her intended victim - allowing her to walk free, just in time for her next social engagement.
Fanta's New Ad Campaign
(Let the fun find them dammit...)
- I demand to know what exactly the ad execs who came up with the vomitous drivel that is Fanta's "The fun will find you" campaign were smoking/snorting/drinking/injecting at the time. If you haven't seen them consider yourself to be living a blessed life and remove yourself to a monastery immediately to avoid polluting your cerebral cortex. The first ad involves a group of 6/7 dwarfs who kidnap three spotty teenagers and proceed to slaughter perfectly decent Shanana songs in a deserted warehouse. The second one is the most vile. Involving three "sumo wrestlers" (the words "fat white guys in ill fitting thongs" can be substituted here) again kidnapping said spotty teenagers and proceeding to perform a sick and twisted version of a line dance. Complete with very nearly not covered crotch jiggling - and trust me when the guy is that large it is a far from pleasant experience !! My idea of good advertising does not include such blatant crap - in fact I don't think that I will ever purposefully buy Fanta ever again. AAAAARRRGH !!!!
Sausage Stuffing Fashion
- Ok, so this relatively new fashion idea of girls wearing pants that are at least two sizes too small, thereby forcing the remaining flesh to cascade over the waistband. Of course, the pairing of this with tight mid-riff exposing tops does absolutley nothing to flatter any figure. Having run this past a few guys (who are supposedly the target market of this flesh sausage fashion) I have come to the realisation that I am not alone in at least this opinion. Someone out there is playing a sick joke on under average IQ girls and unfortunately the rest of us are being punished and dragged along for the ride. Please make them stop !!!
Comments
be gentle ...
pool: i used to be good sigh. i completely agree about the long shot thing... at first it was all i could really do with above 20% success, then i got better and my long shots got worse. i do find that i need a few games as a warmup and my game will start nosediving the longer i play after the post-warmup peak. as for the little brats: i say hit 'em with your pool cue (it's why i play with the club cues and don't own my own).
widom teeth: unwise teeth really. i've had all 4 taken out and not because they didn't come out straight but because they were lazy. they came out in line but didn't come out far enough so the gums sat high on them and slowly softened them up until they developed cracks down the sides (the reason why i don't eat much chocolate anymore). so instead of patching them and having them soften again and give more problems, the doc yanked them (under general thankfully). they suck!
btw: tx for the nice referance :)
Pool: My ability has gone from average, to brilliant, to poor, to masterful, to out of practice, to sublime to... well... crap. I have cleared the table of all 7 balls in one go and then missed the easiest black. I have been beaten without sinking a ball. Here is the trick (and damn, I wish I could remember it when I actually played)... STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR SHOT. It is actually that simple. The reason you get worse when people are watching, or you are being challenged for the table is because you are now concentrating on being better then your opponent... you are now thinking about your shot... and you are tensing up. Before, you were just chilling with your friends... laughing as the ball hit three rails and then went in without touching the pocket's corners... you were relaxed. In the future, if you are being challenged for a table, assume that the other guy is better then you, and that you have already lost. That way, it doesn't matter what you do, you will be relaxed (of course, this advice will go out of the window when you find yourself on the black ball while he still has to pot three of his colour balls... and he will come from behind and beat you (which is OK if you are into that sort of thing (but that is for later as this is a family channel (damn, do you think I have enough embedded brackets here? It's beginning to look like LISP code ;-) )))). If you are having trouble getting relaxed, concentrate on something else completely. Start reciting Monty Python scenes in your head, sing your favourite song ( *in your head!!!!* for all you Idols hopefuls) or do your times tables. Just don't let your mind think about pool.
For more pool advice, you can go to my Rants page, ShadowRants
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