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I popped into alma the day after the previously-mentioned mangling of the english language. i asked the lady about it, and she said 'yeah, i wasn't going to argue with him because i'm afrikaans, but it didn't sound right'.
Apparently he used to be an editor. WTF??? Although this probably explains why he isn't one anymore.
Okay....so on to today's topic: The Hellmouth otherwise known as Standard Bank Rondebosch. Here is the set of events in chronological order:
1. Some time at the end of last year, i go in to prove to the bank that i live where i live. Proof of residence. You all have to do it. you know the drill.
2. I turn 24
3. I get a letter from Standard Bank to inform me that i am no longer elligable for a student account because i'm 24, and they will be automatically converting my account to an e-plan within the month of my birthday if i don't change it.
4. The month of my birthday (december) passes. No automatic change in my account.
5. On the 3rd of January, i go in to change my account. I want the one where you can get a credit card because you earn x amount a month. I am informed that i need to supply them with proof of residence and proof of employment and how much i earn. No, they can't just change my account type, they have to create a whole new account and close my old one off to that account. Apparently they can't accept that i came in a couple of months ago to prove residence. Also, they cannot look at my account and see the nice line that says Openbox Software with my salary every month. No. They need it on paper. The lady is nice and says that i can fax the stuff through the next day. I fill out forms. She says they'll phone me when my cards are ready.
6. They phone my work. Julie (HR/Finance/Receptionist) is on holiday. No, they can't speak to anyone else to confirm i work there. No, the MD isn't good enough. They need to speak to Julie.
7. A week goes by. Julie gets back. They confirm where i work and then call me at work to say everything is A-Okay and they will call again when my cards are ready.
8. I receive another letter saying that i am no longer eligable for a student account and i must change my account type. WTF?
9. A couple of weeks go by. I get a credit card statement showing my yearly charge for the service. I already owe them an installment by the 08/02.
10. Someone calls my house during work hours, saying they are from Standard Bank. Alex tells them i'm not there. They won't leave a message or say why they're calling. They confirm my work number and say they will call me at work.
11. They never call.
12. My old account gets changed to e-plan. A month late.
13. i receive a bank statement showing a R50 charge for my bank card. My account is now in overdraft because there is no money in it because they still haven't closed off my old account into the new one. I still have no cards.
14. This saturday, i go into the bank and demand to see a manager. I stand around for half an hour while the receptionist desperately tries to find the manager. Then i hear she's looking in the back to see if my cards arrive. Then the receptionist finally tells me that they can't find my cards but that she'll investigate and call me on tuesday. I never saw the manager.
So, i still don't have my cards (a month and a half later), i'm late with my first credit payment and my account is in overdraft because they've already charged me for the cards they haven't supplied.
For the last time, i ask you: what the FUCK????
Comment: 2 words: (by FirstFallen? on 2005-02-14 13:51:31)
20 twenty.
that's it. they rock. none of this "oh my god! we're so incompetent! i surprise myself everyday that i haven't set myself on fire yet!" crap that other banks, namely ABSA and now Std too, seem to have as their mission statement.
Comment: it still concerns me... (by d@vid on 2005-02-14 17:31:08)
that the guys who used to work at 20twenty always crack wise when the topic comes up
but, dammit, one day all banks will be made this way
Comment: I would say I'm surprised... (by SynKronos? on 2005-02-14 22:41:17)
but I'm not. They offered me a new, improved bank account recently, where I would be charged about the same as I am paying in bank charges on my current account, but I would be able to do slightly more for that charge in the way of transfers etc. Me being as naive as I am when it comes to the way banks work (or maybe I've been dealing with 2020 too long) assume that by this they mean they will change the status and charge structure on the account I have at the moment. Actually, what they mean is open a whole new bank account, and then I can worry about shifting all my accounts over to that one, all at the same time along with my salary so I don't go into negative on either account. Needless to say, I have not yet found the time to go into Woolworths, Planet Fitness, Discovery, Barclay Card, Old Mutual, Vodacom and talk to my boss all at the same time. However, I might just find the time to go into Standard Bank one Saturday morning and tell them where they can put my new account. I even have the balance all set to zero and everything...
